I see what you did there, WTA.

Wicky and the pink snake strangling her are not amused.

Centre Court (from 17.00hrs)

1. Caroline Wozniacki vs. Jelena Jankovic
2. Svetlana Kuznetsova vs. Elena Dementieva
3. Agnieszka Radwanska vs. Victoria Azarenka

Aga Radwanska will be playing her first (and only) match in the tournament by replacing Bepa Zvonareva, that pulled out due to an ankle injury (oh, sure — I’ll pretend to believe that).

How we are standing right now:

I wish I could explain the possible outcomes. Instead, I’ll recommend everyone that needs some understanding of Round Robin, go read this thread at Tennis Forum that has all the scenarios. I’ll be here remembering why I’m a member of this group on Facebook.

Crazy match. Quite possibly the craziest tennis match I’ve ever seen. It didn’t seem quite that absurd in the beginning. It all started with Caro Wozniacki bagelling Bepa Zvonareva in the first set. Bepa was acting like… Bepa. Headcase as always. Swearing, falling down, bumping on her racquet.

In the second set, Caro was broken right in the first game but managed to break back right away. Bepa was going through some “emotional” problems that only got worse when she got a nosebleed. She was crying and trying to stop the blood at the same time.

Caro settled in the match and soon was up 5-2. She had two match points. Went for the winner down the line, no one called anything, she pumped her fist, celebrated thinking she had won the match. Bepa challenged and the ball was out. Bepa won that game and then other two in a row. The set went to a tiebreak and she took it.

Third set was odd. At the very least. Caro was calling the trainer at very opportunity. Stretching after most points. And then this happened:

According to Caro, “In the third set I knew I had to go 100% for my shots. And then I got cramps. At 3-1 both my legs cramped up, and it just got worse and worse.” With tears strolling down her face (I know I’m dramatic, shut up), she closed up the match. I’m still in the process of mending my heart. You can watch the match point below. Note: Have tissues ready.

I feel good about winning – given the circumstances – and feel better now. I’ve cooled down and am receiving some massage. All the physiotherapists and doctors are helping me. I’ll do everything to try and recuperate tonight so I can be ready again tomorrow.

If she is indeed ready tomorrow, she’ll play JJ.

Gurl, better scheduling next season, please. I don’t need to repeat this, do I?

Today’s Order of Play (starts at 5PM Doha Time)

1. Vera Zvonareva vs. Caroline Wozniacki
2. Serena Williams vs. Elena Dementieva
3. Svetlana Kuznetsova vs. Venus Williams

Bepa Zvonareva will play her first match in the tournament. She’s going in as an alternate for Dinara Safina. Yesterday, Dinara retired at 1-1 against JJ due to back problems. Left the court crying and limping. Quite a heartbreaking thing to watch. I’d say Bepa has been playing well since she came back from her injury butt considering she crashed out 0-6 2-6 to Pironkova in Kremlin Cup’s second round just last week… yeah, I’ll be making no predictions. I don’t know how well an injured, tired Piece of Adorable Danish Sunshine Caro can play either.

The second match could be a possible revenge for Serena, after Lena defeated her in Toronto this year. But knowing Serena, I doubt she even cares. She won the epic Wimbledon semis. I’m sure she has no problems sleeping at night. And Elena seems to have this agreement with the top players that goes like this: “I win the Mickey Mouses tournaments, you win the Slams + YEC.” Awesome. But again… predicting matches… I know how good I am at that. (Not at all.)

The third match…. no, I don’t care. *shrug*

The good:

Maria Kirilenko and Elena Vesnina

The bad:

Anastasia Pavlyuchenkova

(And I actually like the sneakers.)

The ugly:

Vera Zvonareva

(Oh Bepa, did they pay you to wear that shirt? How much? A billion dollars???)

We started Kremlin Cup with three players fighting for the last spot at the year end championships (YEC) in Doha: Vera Zvonareva, Jelena Jankovic and Agnieszka Radwanska. Today, Russian Maria Kirilenko already took out one of the girls from the competition, poor baby Aga, with a double 6-3.

It’s the end of the season. Most of the players are exhausted. If not physically, then mentally. Aga had her leg and wrist taped up. Last week, there was her shoulder too. Even if she is/was badly injured, the last thing I’m going to do is take out Maria’s credit. It’s the second time in a row she defeats the Polish girl. The last one was in this year’s U.S. Open second round. With this win, it’s the first Maria makes the second round in her home tournament. See how I’m positive about one of my favourite not qualifying for Doha? Envy my graciousness.

Here below, we have a Maria interview in Russian for the website Championat. Being obviously fluent in the language, this is how much I managed to understand (reading from the story’s title): “I’m not Kournikova”, she said. Well, Maria, aren’t we glad we settled that?

Same Wimbledon outfit but in different colours.  The headband is still sexy and — if possible — even sexier in bright yellow but the top is still unflattering as hell. She should have stuck with the black long-sleeved shirt worn during warmup. THAT was looking good.

The conclusive proof headbands are soooo in.

Bethanie Mattek-Sands has one! (and lol @ the socks, I guess it could always be worse with Beth)

Fila tried to do this “old school” look for Kim Clijsters. I like the bag, the rest is… *yawn*.

Serena‘s dress is equally plain but SHOES! I love them.

And on Kiri‘s first tournament as a non-Stella girl… she still looks hot. Shocker.

Good looks: always helps when you don’t have a designer outfit.

One of my favourites: Kutuzova‘s green dress that was supposed to be worn by Sharapova at the Australian Open. Gawjuz.

Bepa Zvonareva kept it clean and simple. Very pretty as well.

I would have preferred if she wore this though. Maybe on her next match?

And to finish this, rumors say this is what Urszula Radwanska will wear on her match tomorrow:

I see.

I’d comment on Men’s fashion but everything is dull and the only thing worth mentioning is this ridiculous Adidas t-shirt worn by Mathieu. EPIC FAIL, three stripes.

I think if we ignore the outcome of her semifinal, we can watch her presser and squee about how cute Dina looks. I believe it’s a given she looks better off-court: smiley, non-sweaty, etc. And I quite like her hair up like that, she looks pretty.

Still on the subject of cute (but oh so awkward) Russian girls:

Pavs and Bepa Z on Life magazine. O wut. You might want to check out the link if you’re interested in a very random group of tennis players in ridiculous poses. I know I was.

*This was written by a good friend of mine, Ivy. I told her if she wrote an article blasting the sexism regarding Wimbledon organizers (admitted by them), I’d gladly post it here. So there you go, enjoy the read.

Hey, remember in 2005, when there was all that controversy about Wimbledon refusing to pay equal prize money to men and women? And then we all LOL’ed when the women’s final was longer than the men’s final?

Yes, quite a few of the arguments were legit. Women DON’T play 5-sets and MAY not have the depth of the men’s draw (But seriously? Andy Roddick made slam finals. UR POINT IS MOOT. LOL). But that’s not the point. Equal prize money is a principle, validating men and women as equals. Because here’s the truth: women work just as hard as men to compete at a professional level, incur the same costs as men on the tour, and bring in just as much tournament revenue through star power as the men. So why not equal prize money?

Then Wimbledon finally acquiesced in 2007 and we all said “Yay! Sexism is over! Whoo Margaret Thatcher!” (Because it’s England, bitches.)

So, imagine my surprise when I noticed that only women deemed “attractive” by the Wimbledon organizers were being put on Centre Court. At first I was like, “Woah, been watching way too many specials on The History Channel about the Kennedy assassination.” But then I realized, Wimbledon is a sexist ponce that deserves to get called out on its shit.

The two big matches that had people (i.e. me) bitching? Caroline Wozniacki [9] vs Maria Kirilenko and Victoria Azarenka [8] vs Sorana Cirstea [28]. Why the bitching?

· Compared to the men’s seeds on CC (with the single exception of Marin Cilic), these girls were seeded too low/didn’t have the accomplishments to play on CC

· On the day that Caro was playing, DEFENDING CHAMPION Venus was playing on Court 1, World No.1 Safina was playing on Court 2, and 2009 French Open Champion Kuznetsova was playing on Court 3.

· On the day that Azarenka was playing, World No.4 and 2008 Wimbledon semifinalist Elena Dementieva was on Court 1, World No.2 and the infamous Serena Williams was on Court 2. FFS, even Zvonereva [7] vs. Razzano [26] were on Court 18, when BOTH women were seeded higher than the Centre Court match.

· Some other fun facts. During the first week, Dinara Safina did not play on Centre Court. Neither did Elena Dementieva nor Svetlana Kuznetsova. Venus played on Centre Court once, and Serena twice (out of three times, which isn’t a huge injustice.)

I guess you could say I was fairly pissed off that people who actually merited CC were not getting it.

a) It’s outrageous that women are judged on their looks and NOT on their merit.

b) It’s outrageous that men are judged on merit but not women.

Seriously? If the “pretty people up front, ugly people in the back” rule applied to the men’s side, Radek Stepanek would be bloody playing underground in the Subway!

I did a little investigative digging (basically, looking at the schedule of play on wimbledon.org) and noticed that on Centre Court and Court 1, the WTA matches: ATP matches ratio was 6:13 and 11:12 respectively. Not only are women getting on the big stage less, but the ones who DO are the ones who look the best, NOT the ones who have earned it.

The icing on top of the cake was when a Wimbledon representative actually CAME OUT and said that looks do matter in determining who gets Centre Court. Thanks, you asshat. My suspicions were confirmed that Wimbledon is not only sexist, but damn stupid as well. Cheers xx

BÁRBARA’S NOTE: I wish this blog had a less stupid name so the article would look less out of place. Sry bb.