Team Russia is awesome (and also very good looking)

December 21st, 2009 • demented, jie zheng, kiri is 2 hot 4 u, sania mirza

The TEAM RUSSIA x TEAM ASIA exhibition in Malasyia came to an end yesterday. Team Russia (formed by Elena Dementieva and Maria Kirilenko) kicked ass defeated Team Asia (Jie Zheng and Sania Mirza). The Russians won both singles and the doubles tie, ending the exho with a perfect 3-0. They were kickass all right.

Unfortunately, there wasn’t even a stream available for the matches. The exhibitions so far are doing a terrible job at keeping us entertained. At least there are cute pictures of them coming out. E.g. Kiri swims with dolphins.

(Pictures via fireflydestinations)

Popcorn ready?

October 29th, 2009 • bb safina, bepa z., caro the danish cutie, demented, jj, williamses

Today’s Order of Play (starts at 5PM Doha Time)

1. Vera Zvonareva vs. Caroline Wozniacki
2. Serena Williams vs. Elena Dementieva
3. Svetlana Kuznetsova vs. Venus Williams

Bepa Zvonareva will play her first match in the tournament. She’s going in as an alternate for Dinara Safina. Yesterday, Dinara retired at 1-1 against JJ due to back problems. Left the court crying and limping. Quite a heartbreaking thing to watch. I’d say Bepa has been playing well since she came back from her injury butt considering she crashed out 0-6 2-6 to Pironkova in Kremlin Cup’s second round just last week… yeah, I’ll be making no predictions. I don’t know how well an injured, tired Piece of Adorable Danish Sunshine Caro can play either.

The second match could be a possible revenge for Serena, after Lena defeated her in Toronto this year. But knowing Serena, I doubt she even cares. She won the epic Wimbledon semis. I’m sure she has no problems sleeping at night. And Elena seems to have this agreement with the top players that goes like this: “I win the Mickey Mouses tournaments, you win the Slams + YEC.” Awesome. But again… predicting matches… I know how good I am at that. (Not at all.)

The third match…. no, I don’t care. *shrug*

Russia x Williams

October 27th, 2009 • demented, kuzzy, williamses

For the Maroon Group.

Match 2: Elena Dementieva def. Venus Williams 3-6 7-6(6) 6-2

There is a tennis saying* that says, “It’s no Elena Dementieva match unless there’s drama”. Today, that prophet spoke only the truth. Lena managed to come up from a set and 1-3 0-30 down. Colour me surprised. I was making fun of her Year-End Championships record on Twitter (5-16 before today) and how she wins as many sets there as the YEC as I would if I played. It’s obvious what’s happening here. Lena follows my Twitter and likes to watch me being a fool of myself. I’m sorry, Lena. It was all good fun, I swear. Oh well.

You can watch the match point here:

Match 3: Serena Williams def. Svetlana Kuznetsova 7-6(6) 7-5

Kuzzy was playing good. But then she choked. Twice. End of story.

(Also, her shirt was too small for her body but let’s not talk about that. Please.)

(And Serena’s dress? Gorgeous. I wants. With the matching headband and wristbands. Please.)

*Author’s note: I made up that saying.

Ahhhhh, the WTA

October 26th, 2009 • 2 comments bb safina, caro the danish cutie, demented, jj, kuzzy, vika azarenka, williamses

First, I apologize for not posting these past few days. I’ve caught a flu so I’ve been spending my lovely afternoons in bed watching Criminal Minds and drinking tea. But I’m better now so, hai, u guise. :DDDD

The YEC groups came out out and they are:

MAROON GROUP (aka the “death” group):

• Elena Dementieva
• Serena Williams
• Venus Williams
• Svetlana Kuznetsova

WHITE GROUP (aka “baby!GOATs, #1 and, oh right, JJ qualified” group)

• Victoria Azarenka
• Caroline Wozniacki
• Jelena Jankovic
• Dinara Safina

Play starts tomorrow at 5pm Doha time. Here’s the Order of Play:

I hope everyone’s got their popcorn and playsheets ready!

My two cents

October 20th, 2009 • 5 comments allez bitch is back, anne kremer, caro the danish cutie, demented, spice girls

Earlier today, top 5 player Caroline Wozniacki played homegirl Anne Kremer in the first round of Luxembourg. It was a tough first set. Lots of running, lots of moonballs. She requested a medical time-out and got her left leg all taped up. She took it 7-5. Right in the beginning of the second, she got a break. She remained having problems with the injury — specially with her serve. She couldn’t put all her weight on the left leg. But even then, soon, she was leading 3-0. During the changeover, she requested coaching. Her dad and coach, Piotr, came on court. Reports say (my report is a tennis message board — trustworthy, I know) that he said to her, “At 5-0 up ask for the trainer once again and quit, you’re not gonna play next match anyway so let them have some joy”. She did.

I was watching, the injury was real. After the match, she left the court limping with a woman by her side aiding her to carry her gear. She has been playing way too many tournaments, she’s obviously exhausted. I can still understand her decision to play Luxembourg though. Last year, it was an amazing tournament for her. The final against Elena Dementieva was one of my favourite matches of the year. It was close and exciting. She lost having wasted a match point in a third set tiebreak. But Caroline’s not only a professional tennis player, but a top five one at that. It’s time for her to sit down with her fitness trainer and coach and cut down some tournaments. She’s young but she can’t keep up with these 20+ tourneys for much long. She definitely shouldn’t be playing all these weeks in a row when the YEC is literally around the corner.

A big issue that has been raised in this is regarding the betting. Any person that was watching the match (and spoke Polish) could have put money against Caroline and made profit in a 1:100 ratio. If you put 100 bucks, you’d win 10,000. Ruh-roh. Whose exactly fault is this? Piotr’s, for telling his daughter to retire? Caroline’s, for retiring? Kremer’s, for not being to defeat a dead woman walking? Or the WTA’s? For allowing this on-court coaching madness to happen in the first place?

I think it’s the WTA’s. Sure, most players receive coaching from their standing anyways. The WTA is only making it “legal” and at definite times. It’s also good for avoiding (or trying to avoid) meltdowns. But when a person who’s close to the player, like, let’s say, her dad, comes on court to tell them what to do… That has all the potential to go wrong, doesn’t it?

Caroline was sure she wasn’t going to play the next round. It was the smart thing to do. What she was advised by her coach was to make the home crowd happy. Instead of her giving her second round opponent a walk over and gaining a small number of points and prize money, she’d let Luxembourg have one of their players in the second round. I fail to understand how that makes her the bad guy (or girl, in this case). Maybe stupid for entering the tournament in the first place, but definitely not bad. (But seriously, very very stupid.)

This little event only made me reinforce my opinion regarding on-court coaching: it shouldn’t be allowed. Tennis is an individual sport. Having other people that aren’t the players directly interfere with the outcome is a terrible idea. It’s a sport famous for its mental aspect. The WTA is basically making the brain part less important. Dumbing women’s tennis down, let’s say. The players that have the ability to keep calm and change their game plan during the match will be in the same level of the players that simply do not. It’s okay, it’s not like any of us miss smart players like Martina Hingis and Justine Henin, right?

Guess who’s 28 today!

October 15th, 2009 • 2 comments demented

It’s Fierce Tennis‘ personal favourite Elena Dementieva’s birthday. Elena, may you win at least a match at the YEC and get a brain for next season. Happy Birthday, dear. We love you. xxx

The shallow

October 1st, 2009 • 1 comment danka, demented, nastya myskina, spice girls, tennis players are rockstars too, vika azarenka, yanina wickmayer

I’ve a watched a total of one match in Tokyo: the Pavs-Venus one. I do not have the hypocrisy to comment on the tennis. I could look at the stats, read the articles and come up with my own thoughts but not having actually watched the matches, I’d feel like I was lying. Therefore, I’ll comment on what I can:

Vika. In shorts!

“Is that really blog-worthy?”, you might ask. “Yes”, I’d say, “It’s my blog, shut up.”

I love tennis skirts. I even prefer to play in skirts, they look cuter. But when every WTA-er is playing in one… it gets boring. I wonder if it’s a femininity thing. Because the girls are professional athletes, with strong muscles and all, maybe they feel like they get girlier in skirts. If that’s the case: fail, ladies, fail. Most of the time, a fitting pair of short shorts look a lot more feminine and sexier than these loose dresses at the hips they wear.

If you’re a professional tennis player reading this and you’re wondering what to wear next season, let me help you. I imagine the headband is a given. So let’s continue on the shorts — which type suits you best.

Considered one of the sport’s greatest fashion style, Anna K. knew how to wear her shorts.

The belt is what makes the outfit. In both cases, it’s used to complement the bi-colour scheme. Simple, feminine and stylish. Even Elena Dementieva wore a rip-off (+ ridiculously amounts of FAIL) from Yonex.

Another player that was famous for her short-wearing was crazy, crazy Nastya Myskina. When she isn’t on reality shows, making out with girlbands members or riding horses naked… she is wearing shorts! Trufax.

And to finish this (because oh my goodness, it was serious HARD), lovely Daniela Hantuchova and Yanina Wickmayer.

Today’s Lesson: LESS dresses that make you look like you’re pregnant, MORE shorts.

Professional tennis players, feel free to e-mail me for fashion help. It will only cost a small fee. Ty.

Priorities. Right here, ladies and gentlemen.

September 22nd, 2009 • 3 comments allez bitch is back, caro the danish cutie, demented

♥

Oh yeah, and Henin is coming back.

Go America… wait, what?

September 6th, 2009 • ace ace andy, bb safina, demented, john isner, maria shutupova, melanie oudin new goat

It’s almost 4 am as I write this but, what can I say, I wanted to post this before going to bed. So, please, pardon the grammar and altogether fhddfsjdjdjdjdj that is presented at this unholy time.

I’m not American and I’m not used to cheering for Americans in sports. But today? Bloody good day for American tennis.

It all started with the second match of the day on Ashe. 17-year-old Melanie Oudin defeated another seeded player in a row and ousted Maria Sharapova in a thriller three-setter 3-6 6-4 7-5. Sure it was full of unforced errors and double faults, Oudin herself played in a worse level than she did in her match against Elena. However, the crowd was completely into it. As a spectator from the other side of the continent, I can say I was screaming at the TV and tweeting in all caps (see how srs it was?). I think people forget what sport really is about. It’s not about clean stats and perfect percentages. It’s about getting fans excited, anxious, sentimental. It was a match full of drama that gave the local crowd the pleasure of seeing their homegirl leave the court teary-eyed after being victorious. It’s about the emotion, folks.

The last day match (when it finished, it wasn’t so much as day), certainly had the emotional fact down.

6″9′ John Isner defeated the biggest American hope, Andy Roddick, at his own game. It took him 38 aces, almost four hours, and a fifth-set tiebreak to beat the national poster child. And he did. This match was the epitome of  American hardcourt tennis. Two Americans, in the Central Court of Flushing Meadows, acing each other to death. And, as a bonus, with the underdog taking the win. Great stuff for the crowd, locals and American TV stations, I guess.

P.S. We’ll close our eyes and pretend Dina-Kvitova never happened. It’s easier on my heart.

Quickies.

September 5th, 2009 • 1 comment caro the danish cutie, demented, kiri's bf, laura "tiny pack of british awesomeness" robson, maria shutupova, melanie oudin new goat, muzzah, roger failderer, sorana banana, the radwanskas, williamses

My two picks of fun matches today:

• These babies against Sharapova. Believe.
• TEAM QT against each other. Cheering for the blonde.

Random/LOLtastic news:

• Really good article on NYT on how the order-of-play is decided. (via Savannah’s World)
• Andy Murray and Laura Robson to play Hopman Cup 2010. Another cool team and very good experience for the Tiny Pack of British Awesomeness. My heart will be torn between cheering for them or Elena Dementieva and Kiri’s bf Igor Andreev representing Russia.
• Aga Radwanska: “I will never play doubles with Ula again!” Rofl. I love you kids.
• Venus Williams hates paleontologists. Ross Geller not amused.
• PAPArazzi Failderer.