Ahhhhh, the WTA

October 26th, 2009 • 2 comments bb safina, caro the danish cutie, demented, jj, kuzzy, vika azarenka, williamses

First, I apologize for not posting these past few days. I’ve caught a flu so I’ve been spending my lovely afternoons in bed watching Criminal Minds and drinking tea. But I’m better now so, hai, u guise. :DDDD

The YEC groups came out out and they are:

MAROON GROUP (aka the “death” group):

• Elena Dementieva
• Serena Williams
• Venus Williams
• Svetlana Kuznetsova

WHITE GROUP (aka “baby!GOATs, #1 and, oh right, JJ qualified” group)

• Victoria Azarenka
• Caroline Wozniacki
• Jelena Jankovic
• Dinara Safina

Play starts tomorrow at 5pm Doha time. Here’s the Order of Play:

I hope everyone’s got their popcorn and playsheets ready!

My two cents

October 20th, 2009 • 5 comments allez bitch is back, anne kremer, caro the danish cutie, demented, spice girls

Earlier today, top 5 player Caroline Wozniacki played homegirl Anne Kremer in the first round of Luxembourg. It was a tough first set. Lots of running, lots of moonballs. She requested a medical time-out and got her left leg all taped up. She took it 7-5. Right in the beginning of the second, she got a break. She remained having problems with the injury — specially with her serve. She couldn’t put all her weight on the left leg. But even then, soon, she was leading 3-0. During the changeover, she requested coaching. Her dad and coach, Piotr, came on court. Reports say (my report is a tennis message board — trustworthy, I know) that he said to her, “At 5-0 up ask for the trainer once again and quit, you’re not gonna play next match anyway so let them have some joy”. She did.

I was watching, the injury was real. After the match, she left the court limping with a woman by her side aiding her to carry her gear. She has been playing way too many tournaments, she’s obviously exhausted. I can still understand her decision to play Luxembourg though. Last year, it was an amazing tournament for her. The final against Elena Dementieva was one of my favourite matches of the year. It was close and exciting. She lost having wasted a match point in a third set tiebreak. But Caroline’s not only a professional tennis player, but a top five one at that. It’s time for her to sit down with her fitness trainer and coach and cut down some tournaments. She’s young but she can’t keep up with these 20+ tourneys for much long. She definitely shouldn’t be playing all these weeks in a row when the YEC is literally around the corner.

A big issue that has been raised in this is regarding the betting. Any person that was watching the match (and spoke Polish) could have put money against Caroline and made profit in a 1:100 ratio. If you put 100 bucks, you’d win 10,000. Ruh-roh. Whose exactly fault is this? Piotr’s, for telling his daughter to retire? Caroline’s, for retiring? Kremer’s, for not being to defeat a dead woman walking? Or the WTA’s? For allowing this on-court coaching madness to happen in the first place?

I think it’s the WTA’s. Sure, most players receive coaching from their standing anyways. The WTA is only making it “legal” and at definite times. It’s also good for avoiding (or trying to avoid) meltdowns. But when a person who’s close to the player, like, let’s say, her dad, comes on court to tell them what to do… That has all the potential to go wrong, doesn’t it?

Caroline was sure she wasn’t going to play the next round. It was the smart thing to do. What she was advised by her coach was to make the home crowd happy. Instead of her giving her second round opponent a walk over and gaining a small number of points and prize money, she’d let Luxembourg have one of their players in the second round. I fail to understand how that makes her the bad guy (or girl, in this case). Maybe stupid for entering the tournament in the first place, but definitely not bad. (But seriously, very very stupid.)

This little event only made me reinforce my opinion regarding on-court coaching: it shouldn’t be allowed. Tennis is an individual sport. Having other people that aren’t the players directly interfere with the outcome is a terrible idea. It’s a sport famous for its mental aspect. The WTA is basically making the brain part less important. Dumbing women’s tennis down, let’s say. The players that have the ability to keep calm and change their game plan during the match will be in the same level of the players that simply do not. It’s okay, it’s not like any of us miss smart players like Martina Hingis and Justine Henin, right?

Guess who’s 28 today!

October 15th, 2009 • 2 comments demented

It’s Fierce Tennis‘ personal favourite Elena Dementieva‘s birthday. Elena, may you win at least a match at the YEC and get a brain for next season. Happy Birthday, dear. We love you. xxx

The shallow

October 1st, 2009 • 1 comment danka, demented, nastya myskina, spice girls, tennis players are rockstars too, vika azarenka, yanina wickmayer

I’ve a watched a total of one match in Tokyo: the Pavs-Venus one. I do not have the hypocrisy to comment on the tennis. I could look at the stats, read the articles and come up with my own thoughts but not having actually watched the matches, I’d feel like I was lying. Therefore, I’ll comment on what I can:

Vika. In shorts!

“Is that really blog-worthy?”, you might ask. “Yes”, I’d say, “It’s my blog, shut up.”

I love tennis skirts. I even prefer to play in skirts, they look cuter. But when every WTA-er is playing in one… it gets boring. I wonder if it’s a femininity thing. Because the girls are professional athletes, with strong muscles and all, maybe they feel like they get girlier in skirts. If that’s the case: fail, ladies, fail. Most of the time, a fitting pair of short shorts look a lot more feminine and sexier than these loose dresses at the hips they wear.

If you’re a professional tennis player reading this and you’re wondering what to wear next season, let me help you. I imagine the headband is a given. So let’s continue on the shorts — which type suits you best.

Considered one of the sport’s greatest fashion style, Anna K. knew how to wear her shorts.

The belt is what makes the outfit. In both cases, it’s used to complement the bi-colour scheme. Simple, feminine and stylish. Even Elena Dementieva wore a rip-off (+ ridiculously amounts of FAIL) from Yonex.

Another player that was famous for her short-wearing was crazy, crazy Nastya Myskina. When she isn’t on reality shows, making out with girlbands members or riding horses naked… she is wearing shorts! Trufax.

And to finish this (because oh my goodness, it was serious HARD), lovely Daniela Hantuchova and Yanina Wickmayer.

Today’s Lesson: LESS dresses that make you look like you’re pregnant, MORE shorts.

Professional tennis players, feel free to e-mail me for fashion help. It will only cost a small fee. Ty.

Priorities. Right here, ladies and gentlemen.

September 22nd, 2009 • 3 comments allez bitch is back, caro the danish cutie, demented

♥

Oh yeah, and Henin is coming back.

Go America… wait, what?

September 6th, 2009 • ace ace andy, bb safina, demented, john isner, maria shutupova, melanie oudin new goat

It’s almost 4 am as I write this but, what can I say, I wanted to post this before going to bed. So, please, pardon the grammar and altogether fhddfsjdjdjdjdj that is presented at this unholy time.

I’m not American and I’m not used to cheering for Americans in sports. But today? Bloody good day for American tennis.

It all started with the second match of the day on Ashe. 17-year-old Melanie Oudin defeated another seeded player in a row and ousted Maria Sharapova in a thriller three-setter 3-6 6-4 7-5. Sure it was full of unforced errors and double faults, Oudin herself played in a worse level than she did in her match against Elena. However, the crowd was completely into it. As a spectator from the other side of the continent, I can say I was screaming at the TV and tweeting in all caps (see how srs it was?). I think people forget what sport really is about. It’s not about clean stats and perfect percentages. It’s about getting fans excited, anxious, sentimental. It was a match full of drama that gave the local crowd the pleasure of seeing their homegirl leave the court teary-eyed after being victorious. It’s about the emotion, folks.

The last day match (when it finished, it wasn’t so much as day), certainly had the emotional fact down.

6″9′ John Isner defeated the biggest American hope, Andy Roddick, at his own game. It took him 38 aces, almost four hours, and a fifth-set tiebreak to beat the national poster child. And he did. This match was the epitome of  American hardcourt tennis. Two Americans, in the Central Court of Flushing Meadows, acing each other to death. And, as a bonus, with the underdog taking the win. Great stuff for the crowd, locals and American TV stations, I guess.

P.S. We’ll close our eyes and pretend Dina-Kvitova never happened. It’s easier on my heart.

Quickies.

September 5th, 2009 • 1 comment caro the danish cutie, demented, kiri's bf, laura "tiny pack of british awesomeness" robson, maria shutupova, melanie oudin new goat, muzzah, roger failderer, sorana banana, the radwanskas, williamses

My two picks of fun matches today:

• These babies against Sharapova. Believe.
• TEAM QT against each other. Cheering for the blonde.

Random/LOLtastic news:

• Really good article on NYT on how the order-of-play is decided. (via Savannah’s World)
• Andy Murray and Laura Robson to play Hopman Cup 2010. Another cool team and very good experience for the Tiny Pack of British Awesomeness. My heart will be torn between cheering for them or Elena Dementieva and Kiri’s bf Igor Andreev representing Russia.
• Aga Radwanska: “I will never play doubles with Ula again!” Rofl. I love you kids.
• Venus Williams hates paleontologists. Ross Geller not amused.
• PAPArazzi Failderer.

Fierce Fashin

September 2nd, 2009 • 2 comments bondarenkos, caro the danish cutie, demented, maria shutupova, roger failderer, squeaky shoes ivanovic, tennis players are fashionists too

Continuing the discussion on the outfits of the USO that are worth mentioning, I’ll start with my favourite one: Sharapova‘s.

For those that don’t know me, I love to hate Sharapova. She’s my personal punching bag I use to mock: awkward running, lolzy net skills, doubtful fashion taste, doubtful sexual orientation. It’s all good hearted and, well, fun. So for her to win the “Best Outfit of the US Open Award”, it’s a great achievement. Gurl probably knows winning Wimbledon at 17 is nothing comparing to my fashion approval. Let’s see the outfit then, yeah?

First, the chavvy part in me thinks this would look even more badass if it was in black+gold. But as pointed out by loltennis, I’m sure Nike has rules where it states that only The Monogram can wear gold. I feel your pain, Masha. But still, the silver headband is GAWJUZ. It’s a nice improvement to see her wearing a tight dress — let’s not forget her last outfit was the spiderwoman‘s and it made her hips look huge. You know it’s a NIKE FASHION FAIL when you’ve made a 6’2″ skinny woman look fat. Part of me is interested to see how the day dress looks… the other part just wants her to lose in the next round so she doesn’t play Lena. Oh, mixed feelings, how I love thee.

From yesterday’s biggest upset, Ana Ivanovic‘s pretty purple dress:

As much as I was loudly cheering for the Baby Bondarenko, shame we won’t get to see the day version of the ensemble. It was pretty.

And the most expected fashion happening in tennis this year (for me), Caro Wozniacki in Stella McCartney.

One word: disappointment. It just looks like a less colourful, less detailed version of number two here with some extra ruffs. I think it’s time for Adidas to start considering some other designers for their high fashion collection. If you guys could pick, who would it be? I’d want Karl Lagerfeld.

Cute pictures for the mourning Lena fans

August 16th, 2009 • 1 comment bondarenkos, caro the danish cutie, demented, the radwanskas, vika azarenka

Because I do believe by now, we should all be used from this sort of FAIL coming from Elena Dementieva. We should but, alas, we’re not. We, Lena fans, are too blind by the love to even hate her or even simply be mad at her. We’re hopeless fanatics. We just feel sad and hope the next time, she’ll able to COVERT THE FREAKIN’ MATCH POINTS. *sigh* I might need tennis rehab.

The way I choose to deal with it? Cute pics of the players being adorbs.

Vika being a dork + Alona and Princess + My Polish Trio.

And in case anyone is interested, requested by a friend, I added a new page: Top 5 Women’s Tennis Outfits.

Lists are fun, eh?

Talented tennis player is talented

August 14th, 2009 • demented, maria shutupova, vika azarenka, weird! heterosexuality.

I was going to come here and whine about Vika. Basically, I’d say she’s a hot mess (emphasis on the mess) and that eleven double faults is only acceptable if your last name is Dementieva. And, honestly, not even Lena serves this badly nowadays. If Vika wants to be a top 5, win a slam, the whole shebang, the needs to improve that 85mph serve. Get a serve coach. Lena got Richard Krajicek. Maybe Vika should stop by in the qualifying rounds and ask Misa for his phone number. You know, just a thought.

Moving on. I don’t know if you guys are familiar with this, but Maria Sharapova has this section on her website called “Weekly Doodles”. Go there, click on the “Off The Court” and then on the “Weekly Doodles” and laugh your ass off. My friend, who obviously has as much time on her hands as me, wrote this hilarious satire of her doodles. I decided to post her because, what the hell, I’m still mourning the loss/slump of my #1 girlcrush. I could use some cheering up.

Maria’s Weekly Doodles

Hi everyone! just got back from training with michael, boy is he a tough workout. anyways we were talking in the car about celbrities that we wuld want to be stranded on a dessert island with and my top 5 were
1) orlando bloom – omg he’s soooooooooooo cute i love him and if he was just so sweet when i met him in paris <3
2) johnny depp – hes a great actor and soo hott
3) brad pitt – i luv him in mr & mrs smith. angelina is one lucky woman!!!! ;)
4) george cloony – his voice is so sexii and camilla was in that nespresso commercial with him … definitely convinced me to buy a nespresso machine he he :)
5) zac efron – i only saw the first high school musical on a plane but he is so cuteeee and i luv the fact that he can sing because thats exactly what im looking for in a man someone who can sing and is just a man heh he i dont know if you can tell but i love boys!!!!!!! now if only there were some good ones left…ladies u know what i mean ;)

well, for the rest of the day i think i am just going to chill after i see my physical therapst. in fact i think me and camilla are staying in tonight from all that wild partying with hott boys to watch my favorite movie how to lose a guy in 10 days!!!! :) :) :) :) :) (this is what a happy maria looks like, michael) omg, matthew mcconagey hes so hot and cute!! i cant believe i forgot him

ill decide where he fits in later :)

love you all xx
Maria

I’ll end this with a lefty: