This week in bitchiness

August 2nd, 2009 • 2 comments bb safina, can't hear your grunt well enough de brito, demented, jj, larcher de "louder pls, maria shutupova, marion bartoli, sabine sparkles, williamses

Stanford has been really good. If not by the matches, then at least for the interviews and loltastic statements given by the players. Everyone knows that one of the biggest differences between the WTA and the ATP is the SASS. The girls are just better at bringing some of the off-court drama to the court and being oh-so-bitter losers. Thank goodness for that, eh?

This week, it all started with Bartoli answering the question of who she’d rather play: Lisicki or JJ. She said Jankovic, “I always beat her”, for leading their head-to-head 3-0 at the time.

Former number one, JJ, who really didn’t take that one lightly, said:

“She talks like she’s just Serena Williams. Everybody had a right to say what she wants. I’m not really focused on Bartoli. She’s not like my biggest rival or someone I look up to or I’m scared of. She’s just one of the players on tour, not a big name, or someone who is making the big results or headlines in the game.”

Of course JJ would lose after that, even wasting two match points. Way to prove a point, Jay. And to create some more drama, let’s just say Jelena’s first statement meant she was calling Serena an arrogant b*tch as well. So, still, not satisfied with having attacked both Serena and Fatty, JJ… kept her mouth opened.

“To be number one, you should be complete and if you are number one you have to be beating the Williams sisters. I’m one of the rare players who has a positive record against the Williams sisters”

So this leaves JJ’s list of “Players I trash talked to this week” like this: Dinara Safina, Serena Williams and Jelena Jankovic. I wonder if she can still release a statement until Monday to say Sharapova is not really Russian or that Larcher de Brito‘s grunts should be banned. You know, just to make it longer.

After that lenghty list, Bartoli intimidated seeing Jankovic steal her Stanford’s SASSIEST MOUTH spotlight. She decided to trash… Lena. Yes, Loser-of-the-Week Lena. These were Bartoli words about her expectations regarding today’s final against Venus:

“My first goal tomorrow is not to lose 6-0 6-1″

For the sake of it, I hope she gets double bagelled just so Lena can come out and say “OH LOL TOO BAD”.

And just because I think this is the perfect time to bring up this wonderful macro, here it goes:

Lena, Lena, let's try not out-awesome-ing the other players on their faces, ok?

July 31st, 2009 • 9 comments demented, jj, nadia petrova, severine bremond

This is a self-acclaimed LET’S FANGIRL OVER LENA post. Proceed with caution (or don’t proceed at all) if you’re a hater*.

Lena trash talking (or Lena’s equivalent of “trash talking”) JJ, according to Doug’s Sports Blog:

Asked about Jankovic’s complaints the other day, the fourth-ranked player laughed: “I don’t know what to say. It looks like she’s playing every single week, more than anyone else. If she can play two tournaments in a week, she will do this.”

O snap, Lena.

The Golden Goddess wasn’t satisfied with the sarcastic mockery of Jankovic. She then decided to also show off her superior intellect. In the Hero video, “Players Favorite Books”, this becomes quite obvious. The question: “What’s your favourite book?”. Severine Bremond’s answer was Stephanie Meyer‘s Twilight. Lena’s reply was Tolstoi and Dostoievski books. Oh, Lena, stop it! Now we can tell you’re doing on purpose.

And Nadia‘s favourite books are War and Peace and Gone With The Wind. She must have a huge attention spam. I can hardly get through the Gone With The Wind movie in one sit — and it’s one of my favourite movies!

*To da left, to da left.

P.S.  Once again I apologize for not posting but I was a) sick and b) busy watching the FINA World Championships in Rome.

It must be love… or my ears bleeding.

July 6th, 2009 • 3 comments jj

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sq7-aLfsnfA]

I think I made the right choice.

– Jelena Jankovic

Idk JJ, idk, you seem like such a good pianist to me.

Middle sunday, yo

June 28th, 2009 • 3 comments alizé cornet, caro the danish cutie, jj, kuzzy, sorana banana, tennis players are fashionists too, tennis players are rockstars too, vika azarenka

Well, I actually have nothing to report but I thought I was doing so well posting here everyday! Didn’t want to ruin that, did I? So how about I post on… nothing? Yeah? Exciting? Cool.

Via adeegee’s Wimbly reports, a few cute pictures of the girls:

Caro Wozniacki rocking out with her wayfarers.

Yeah, baby, you’re so .

Is she looking for her mojo? Idek but LOL either way, JJ.

Vika and her headband of sex. I wonder if she takes that thing off for showering and stuff.

Caro and  wear matching nail polish. ‘Nough said.

“Zomg Caro, did you see how adorable I just was?”

Track jacket. Want.

Watchya listenin’ to, Kuz? Lil’ Wayne?