Wimbledon says “Go Make Me a Sandwich, Bitch!”*

June 29th, 2009 • 7 comments baby mario, bb safina, bepa z., caro the danish cutie, demented, kiri is 2 hot 4 u, kuzzy, radek sexynek, sorana banana, vika azarenka, virginie razzano, williamses

*This was written by a good friend of mine, Ivy. I told her if she wrote an article blasting the sexism regarding Wimbledon organizers (admitted by them), I’d gladly post it here. So there you go, enjoy the read.

Hey, remember in 2005, when there was all that controversy about Wimbledon refusing to pay equal prize money to men and women? And then we all LOL’ed when the women’s final was longer than the men’s final?

Yes, quite a few of the arguments were legit. Women DON’T play 5-sets and MAY not have the depth of the men’s draw (But seriously? Andy Roddick made slam finals. UR POINT IS MOOT. LOL). But that’s not the point. Equal prize money is a principle, validating men and women as equals. Because here’s the truth: women work just as hard as men to compete at a professional level, incur the same costs as men on the tour, and bring in just as much tournament revenue through star power as the men. So why not equal prize money?

Then Wimbledon finally acquiesced in 2007 and we all said “Yay! Sexism is over! Whoo Margaret Thatcher!” (Because it’s England, bitches.)

So, imagine my surprise when I noticed that only women deemed “attractive” by the Wimbledon organizers were being put on Centre Court. At first I was like, “Woah, been watching way too many specials on The History Channel about the Kennedy assassination.” But then I realized, Wimbledon is a sexist ponce that deserves to get called out on its shit.

The two big matches that had people (i.e. me) bitching? Caroline Wozniacki [9] vs Maria Kirilenko and Victoria Azarenka [8] vs Sorana Cirstea [28]. Why the bitching?

· Compared to the men’s seeds on CC (with the single exception of Marin Cilic), these girls were seeded too low/didn’t have the accomplishments to play on CC

· On the day that Caro was playing, DEFENDING CHAMPION Venus was playing on Court 1, World No.1 Safina was playing on Court 2, and 2009 French Open Champion Kuznetsova was playing on Court 3.

· On the day that Azarenka was playing, World No.4 and 2008 Wimbledon semifinalist Elena Dementieva was on Court 1, World No.2 and the infamous Serena Williams was on Court 2. FFS, even Zvonereva [7] vs. Razzano [26] were on Court 18, when BOTH women were seeded higher than the Centre Court match.

· Some other fun facts. During the first week, Dinara Safina did not play on Centre Court. Neither did Elena Dementieva nor Svetlana Kuznetsova. Venus played on Centre Court once, and Serena twice (out of three times, which isn’t a huge injustice.)

I guess you could say I was fairly pissed off that people who actually merited CC were not getting it.

a) It’s outrageous that women are judged on their looks and NOT on their merit.

b) It’s outrageous that men are judged on merit but not women.

Seriously? If the “pretty people up front, ugly people in the back” rule applied to the men’s side, Radek Stepanek would be bloody playing underground in the Subway!

I did a little investigative digging (basically, looking at the schedule of play on wimbledon.org) and noticed that on Centre Court and Court 1, the WTA matches: ATP matches ratio was 6:13 and 11:12 respectively. Not only are women getting on the big stage less, but the ones who DO are the ones who look the best, NOT the ones who have earned it.

The icing on top of the cake was when a Wimbledon representative actually CAME OUT and said that looks do matter in determining who gets Centre Court. Thanks, you asshat. My suspicions were confirmed that Wimbledon is not only sexist, but damn stupid as well. Cheers xx

BÁRBARA’S NOTE: I wish this blog had a less stupid name so the article would look less out of place. Sry bb.

"Sex sells!"

June 25th, 2009 • 7 comments bondarenkos, caro the danish cutie, chaky, demented, domi cibulkova, kiri is 2 hot 4 u, sorana banana, vika azarenka, williamses

Ok, so the match wasn’t that all exciting. I left home when it was 6-0 2-0 for Caro — obviously proving my jinxing abilities. Kiri put up a fight in the second, broke Caro’s serve back but eventually lost 6-4. I believe that was the first time I’ve seen Caro overpower anyone. Danish Cutie looked like she was in kill mode today. I thought it was lovely. I want Kiri to pick her game up (and her Stella McCartney sponsorship) because when she’s on, she’s a pleasure to watch. Moves well, nice groundstrokes and volleys. Let’s just be glad they played on Centre Court and that means a big number of pics of these two.

Now, tomorrow’s OOP. I can’t help but LOL at the fact Lena is at Court 1 and Serena, two times champion, is at Court 2, a smaller court. And Lena is playing Kulikova, a player outside the top 100, while Serena plays Vinci. No, seriously, EHL-O-fucking-EHL. I give up on trying to understand how the organizers decide the OOP. I’m starting to believe it is to please me, so I’ll most likely not complain. Hellz yeah, moar Russians and pretty Spaniards at showcourts pls.

Tomorrow, to also make me happyyyyy, we get Vika-Sorana Banana () on CC.

Vika, please, PLEASE, be nicer to Sori than Caro was to Kiri? (That’s a weird sentence with lots of ridiculous sounding nicknames.)

Still on Vika, here you can see the videos from the French FHM photoshoot with her, Domi, Alona and Chaky. These screencaps of Vika and Chaky had me laughing for all eternity. I’m pretty sure Chaky “being hot” is one of the most awkward things on Earth. She’s a lovely good-looking girl but my mind just goes “Chaky, bb, please put your clothes on, you’re not old enough for that!”. Ignore the fact Vika is three years younger than her, Chaky is forever 12 for me. I love how Lena makes a “special appareance” on the video and that me and Domi have the same sweater. I even wore it today. Zomg, ~*~fate~*~.

ZOMG I MISS U 2!!!1111oneone

June 24th, 2009 • caro the danish cutie, holy rafa, kiri is 2 hot 4 u

The little girls I tweeted about earlier today. Adorableness.

P.S. Everyone’s excited for Caro-Kiri on Central Court tomorrow? I sure am. I have my pompoms and my Russian flag ready. I hope the match is over before 15:45 so I can watch it all before going to class. Hee. Please, Danish Cutie, pls, be nice to Kiri. I’m not even going to mention the whole Stella McCartney fiasco thing, so yeah, come on, don’t humilliate her — I’m already having to deal with the fact that you own Lena.

Pretty girls wearing pretty outfits

June 14th, 2009 • 2 comments caro the danish cutie, kiri is 2 hot 4 u, tennis players are fashionists too

I believe my snark goes away once grass season starts. What happened this week? Grassula made Birmingham quarters, losing to Rybarikova, that took the title defeating Li who had previously defeat Sharapova in the semis. Hm. Muzzah won Queens so now all Brits are drooling even more over the Wimbly trophy. Roddick injured his ankle, Nole lost yet another final. Kiri was dropped my Stella McCartney…. oh wait… WHAT?

Caroline Wozniacki, who is number nine in the world, will now be marketed across the globe by her sponsor.

It is not just on the court that Caroline Wozniacki has moved up in the tennis sport Super League. Commercially, she is also one of sport’s hottest names.

That confirmed Adidas by the decision to use the young Dane as the only model in a worldwide campaign for a new series designed by Stella McCartney – yes, daughter of Sir Paul from the Beatles.

Photography for the campaign took place Wednesday afternoon under humble circumstances on a tennis facility in the north-west outskirts of London, but will probably be anything but humble in expression when it starts to run in late summer.

Stella McCartney has been directly involved in the selection of the main model for the new design, which launches across the world while at the same time, Caroline Wozniacki as the only player on the top level starts using it during the U.S. Open.

“It obviously feels good, that it is I that was chosen and that Stella has also said that she would like me to represent her line. She will always have something that is new and fresh. She constantly seeks new inspiration, and I just think that she thought that I am new and on the way up and would be a good role model for the clothes, she does “, sounds Caroline Wozniacki’s own opinion on why she now becomes the subject of a worldwide campaign for the company she has been associated for several years.

The explanation confirms Adidas.

‘Caroline is a good tennis player, while young, open, responsive and full of good humor of court. She seems a natural choice for a design that expresses both sport and style, “said a spokeswoman, who insists on being anonymous.

Article from Politiken.Dk translated over at TennisForum (Thanks FormelyKnownAs)

I believe something that it doesn’t need to be said is that I’m a Caro fan. I love that kid, hardcore. I love her game, I think she seems like a great person and she speaks ten languages — and that’s incredibly charming. But, honestly, I couldn’t be sadder regarding this news. I’ll start by saying that it’s natural that Stella McCartney would like someone else to be their model. Poor Kiri lost first round at Roland Garros (I was there, it wasn’t pretty), has been having no less than shitty results, having awful draws and not even winning her usual Mickey Mouse tournaments. This is fashion, there’s no use in making gorgeous outfits if no one is going to see them. Stella was forced to make this decision. Now, the choice of the model… First, if I was Ana Ivanovic, I’d be pissed as hell they didn’t pick me. Maybe it was because of the slump or Ana’s body type. But… what if was because of the second option? Caro also has a terrible body to model clothes. Even people that don’t follow fashion at all know models are thin. Caro isn’t fat*, that’s the last thing she is. But she’s strong and has curves, really, she does. She’s curvier than Ana for sure. And Caro, I don’t even know why, looks like a walking fashion disaster. I think it’s the bubbly personality and how sporty, athletic she is. I’m expecting a mess (a hot mess) Caro wearing these frilly skirts with little butterflies. I can think of better players to wear the line, how about trying stealing Daniela Hantuchova from Nike? Or giving it to Anna Chakvetadze? But if you’re going to give it to one sucky player to another… Should have let Maria be in the first place. At least we know Kiri can pull of anything.

+ And in case you’re incredibly bored and somehow interested in what other things I like besides tennis, I made a tumblr: youdidntseemlikeaplayeratall. Also, if you would love Russian tennis players picspams, check out fuckyeahrussians.

*Blogger’s note: I wish I had her body.

First Roland Garros post

June 5th, 2009 • caro the danish cutie, forza!, kiri is 2 hot 4 u, sorana banana

Well, I actually arrived at Rio on Tuesday but believe it or not, there are moments in my life I have to focus on university and such. I know, unbelievable. I haven’t had time to post anywhere but Twitter (mainly because it’s an addict) so I’m apologizing in advance. As a bitter Rafa fan, instead of watching the semifinals at this very moment, I’ll post here and then bury myself in my new Skins DVDs. You need to have priorities in life.

Why will I start the RG talk on a random first round doubles match when even the Women’s Finals are already decided? Because a) they’re pretty as fuck, b) Kiri doubles is the way I chose to heal from the fact she lost to a girl who probably hasn’t even reach puberty yet and c) I already uploaded those pics on my Flickr account.

And something very important needs to be mentioned: Kuddos to Sorana Cirstea. You know you’re adorable when you catch my attention when Kiri and Caro are right in front of me. Congrats, Sorana Banana. Her English has one of the most adorable accents I’ve ever heard and, dude, I fancy accents, I know about them. Every time she said “You go!”, ” I got!” and “Wait!” I’d awwwn out loud. Specially because she said everything twice so it was “You go you go!” and “Wait wait!”.

This begs for a poll of adorableness:[polldaddy poll=1680519]+ Kiri interview & Sori interview.

Sorana also said the cuuuteeeest “thank you” with a little shy smile when I wished her good luck in singles. My good luck wish was totally working… until I left the country and she lost to Sam Stosur. I’m truly sorry about my jinxing, folks. I really RUINED the tournament. Even a friend of mine said she’ll start calling me “Jinxy” from now on. Frakkin’ ho. I’ll go to the USO next year and jinx Federer. (But knowing me, I’ll probably make Rafa lose on the first round or something.)

Anywaaaaay. Overall, the Kirinetta/QT BFFs match was really entertaining because all four girls are fast. There were amazing points with long rallies and loltastic Frescobol net plays. I sat behind Caro and Sorana’s chairs which was not such a good idea. Caro kept staring at me so I started to feel bad about shoving my camera on her face. Bad bad journalist, I know. But… it’s just doubles. I don’t want to be not even the tiniest bother when she’s playing with her best friend.

My heart was broken into pieces in the match when Caro had an injury timeout. If I was religious, I’d be praying for DC’s back to be ok. I don’t want to think about having my 18-year-old moonballer taken away from me so early. Take care, bb. And pls stop playing so much? Just look at JJ.

Who do you guys want any reports on?

Written on Friday, posted today

May 23rd, 2009 • 2 comments bb safina, caro the danish cutie, demented, holy rafa, kiri is 2 hot 4 u, lena v. always brings the lolz, maria shutupova, the radwanskas, vika azarenka

At the moment I’m in my flight to London with over four hours remaining before we land. As I talked (typed) to myself (yes, I’m this crazy) I decided I should post here and tell you guys about Roland Garros, etc.

I’ll arrive in Paris on Monday the 25th and will be at the stadium at about 2 pm. If there’s wi-fi there, I’ll be doing in-site tweeting. You can follow me @awaltzforanight or simply take a look at the sidebar here every once and a while. I warn that it might be incoherent rambling such as “OMGGGG VIKA AND CARO ARE BEING GIGGLY TOGETHER HEE OMG”. Yes, I’m a proud fangirl. No, I’m not going to be serious unless I’m getting paid (read the blog’s About section). For RG related news, I also recommend the very serious twitter @Roland_Garros.

On Monday, I only have tickets to the external courts, so I’ll try to watch some practice sessions, wave my Brazilian and/or Russian flags at random matches and try to catch some Kiri or any cute choker. Hellz yeah.

I have tickets for all days until Sunday. They’re mostly Chatrier or Lenglen tickets. I’ll be praying to the Lords of Kobol to watch Lena live. Please, tennis Santa, please, I’ve been a nice girl and you already fucked me over with her draw (WHY LENA-CARO AGAIN WHY WHY WHYYYYYYYY).

When there, I want to chat and take a picture with the biggest rockstar in tennis: Mommy Vera Dementieva. And given the opportunity, ask Sharapova why she broke up with Camilla Belle. Gurl, Camilla is dreamy, what’s wrong with you?

If you can’t tell by the excessive capslock (no, come on, I’m not always like that!), I’m really excited for this. I’ve never been to Roland Garros to watch a match, I’ve only visited the stadium and the tenniseum (oh why so pretty) days before the EPIC Failed Cup (at time ‘Fed Cup’) final between Russia and France. With Nastya choking up closing the tie and Dinara and Lena winning the last rubber in the last set. If it was EPIC from my TV, imagine how EPIC it was live… there. When I go to cheer for Russia live, they lose to fucking Argentina. No comments, Russia, NO COMMENTS. I would break up with you if I could.

Well, folks, I have no further things to say from the plane. All I hope is to land soon and post this whenever I get internet.

P.S. Who did Sharapova have to sleep with to get that draw (anyone that answers “Rafa” will be hit with a rock over their head)? And why didn’t Ula sleep with the same person? Idiot!

Kissing WTA players

May 13th, 2009 • 1 comment danka, demented, kiri is 2 hot 4 u, lena v. always brings the lolz, maria shutupova, squeaky shoes ivanovic

Because I need to cheer myself up considering I won’t watch Lena-Momo… today… on clay…. because of uni. Woes.

Sometimes I think I could do a blog only about the LAWLZ of WTAWorld(now Tennisforum, or whatever)/MTF, but that would be too lurker-y. Even for me. Eh, anyway. Today I saw this thread up there:

If Maria, Ana, Dani and Elena wants to kiss you…

I would probably try letting down Lena nicely (really, Lena, I love you, just not like that) and then be all “Bitch plz!” to the other three. That being said, they should have given different options of Marias and Elenas. Kirilenko? Vesnina? Way better options, dudes.

P.S. I have a friend who thinks Muzzah is hotter than Rafa. She was dropped on her head as a baby, right?