Bitch is back

June 9th, 2010 • 1 comment muzzah, wags

Kim Sears — Andy Murray‘s girlfriend/ex-girlfriend/girlfriend/ex-girlfriend/girlfriend, Walk Walk Fashion Baby, Nigel Sears‘ daughter, WAG EXTRAORDINAIRE — is back. Bow down, bitches. She’ll kick your ass with her ‘Come on Andy’s, perfectly fitting cardigans and aviators. It might be possible I like Kim more than Mandy. Probably because I get attached to random people for no reason. Or because there’s Maggie:

We’ll never know, I guess.

My thoughts on the final a.k.a. why I think Mandy failed to capture his first Slam title

February 1st, 2010 • muzzah, roger failderer

I suppose that, as a “tennis blogger”, it is my job to write about the final. Fucking hell.

Before Sunday, I would have said Murray was the favourite. The quality of the tennis he had been playing up until the final was higher than Federer‘s. He was moving well (Rafa well, The Flash well) and playing very consistently. He was even coming up with some magical passing shots that we counterpunching fans love so much. But what was really making Andy clutch his wins has the ability to transit from defense to attack. It’s what made him dominate Rafa Nadal. He was coming to the net at unexpected moments, making his opponent feel at a constant unease.

In the final match, Murray had a few (understatement, oy) problems. We could start by the serve. In the first set, he had a first serve percentage as low as 45% and no aces at all. Not only he wasn’t being able to do damage with his first serve, but he could hardly get it in. In that same set he did 11 unforced errors, which in the Mandy scale of UEs, is enough for a whole match. He was playing solely on the defense and made only 5 winners. “It’s ok, it’s the nerves, he’ll wake up in the second set.”

Well, he didn’t. But it did get better. He made the same number of UEs and winners — which, for a player with Mandy’s playing style, is a quite shitty stat.

Third set, the serve improved. 60% in and 8 aces. With that, he managed to get a lead. He served for the set at 5-3 but was broken at love. The set went to the tiebreak: game, set and match, Mr. Federer.

I’d like to show the stat that, for me, defined the match. No, it wasn’t Mandy’s awful serving.

The crazy netplay that Mandy had showed us in his previous match wasn’t present in the final. And don’t let the stat trick you, he didn’t even go to the net “that much”.  Most of them were due to Federer‘s dropshots. It seems like, in the final, Mandy forgot what the word attacking meant.

Now, I’ll do something that I love to do: blame the British media. Dear British journalists, how about you guys think why such a rich country like yours haven’t won a slam in 73 years? Did Henman really not have what it takes to win a slam? I mean, even Andy Roddick won one. Was Henman worse on grass than Ferrero, Moya or Gaudio on clay? They all won Slams. It’s pointless to hype up players*. It’s even more pointless to dump a country’s expectations on just one person. I realize the money they invested on this boy is ridiculous — but he’s only human. This is tennis, a sport where the mental part is as important as the physical. If not more.

I hate the idea that all that talent might be waste due to media pressure. Federer himself said these two weeks were perhaps the best of his career. Why? He played loose. Now that he has won all four Slams and already surpassed Sampras‘ record, he says he’s playing without pressure on himself. Let’s recall something here. Federer, last year, didn’t manage to win his 14th Slam at the Australian Open and, in front of Rod Laver and other Slam champions, cracked. This year, Mandy failed to win his maiden title. What happened? Boy crying in the microphone, excusing himself for not being able to win the title for his people.

A lesson learned, ladies and gents: pressure can work as motivation. Or it can do the exact opposite. Cheers.

*PLS LEAVE LAURA ROBSON ALONE.

My take on the Rafa retirement thing

January 26th, 2010 • holy rafa, muzzah

Let me start by saying the last thing I wish to do is take off Andy‘s merit. The first two sets were played brilliantly by the Brit. He showed not only the amazing counter-punching we all know he’s capable of, but also some high quality aggressive tennis. He would slice, hit it deep, flat, serve and volley — completely dominating the match. Amazing tennis and a well deserved semifinal spot for Murray.

Now, can I just come here and worry? Rafa retired, it’s the knee again. Hear me whine for all eternity.

He says it happened in the middle of the second set. Now, would that just happen? And how would he know that thanks to the sting of pain, it was for the best to retire? Was the knee pain that strong? Or considering it hurt, he thought it wasn’t worth to continue playing — after all, he would hardly be able to come back from two sets and one break down. Specially by the way Andy was calling all the shots. But would Rafael Nadal really just give up of a match (in a Slam he was defending, even) like that, if the problem wasn’t serious? I can’t help but think the knee still hasn’t healed and that the whole “I’m all better, it doesn’t hurt at all” talk was bullshit from the Spaniard.

His injuries are a subject that Rafa really doesn’t like to talk about during his interviews. It’s not like you want to warn to your opponent: “Hey, look at me, I’m crippled, just slice all the balls — bending my knees hurts too much.” But Rafa really doesn’t like to talk about it. Enough to refuse to answer over and over.

As a fan, the last thing I’ll be caring right now are the rankings (he’ll lose the #2 position). Maybe he came back too soon. If missing the American spring hardcourt season is what it takes to heal the knee, let it be.

Dear Rafael, if you’re reading this, 1) omg, stop pls, this is really embarrassing, 2) If you continued reading, let me warn you that tennis fans do not want to see an early retirement from you, Sir. How are we supposed to watch clay tennis when you’re injured? IT WILL BE PAAAAIIIIIINFUUUUUUL. (see what I meant when I said “embarrassing”?) Get better soon, we love you.

Because apparently the Murray song wasn’t dumb enough

October 21st, 2009 • 3 comments caro the danish cutie, muzzah

Tennis fans didn’t think the amazing tune that is Volley Highway was enough. So now we have Woz Woz — the Caroline Wozniacki song.

Sunshine
Moving to the baseline
She makes me feel fine
I want her all the time

Music masterpiece.

Good grief!

September 8th, 2009 • 5 comments baby mario, muzzah

Marin “Adorable Giraffe aka Baby Mario” Cilic took out Mandy-boy with an impressive an impressive 7-5 6-2 6-2 win.

I didn’t watch the full match, only flashes every once in a while I fought sleep. BBC’s headline says “Murray outclassed by superb Cilic” and from what I read, it was basically a combo of bad day from Muz + good day and consistency from Marin. I’m gutted for Mandy. This is his favourite slam, his favourite surface and he won’t even be able to defend his final.

This is how I feel.

And I won’t even start on how I thought Mandy was the only guy in the draw with a shot at the title that doesn’t have a monogram slapped on every single piece of clothing he owns. Woeful. However, the bipolar side of me is truly satisfied Marin is finally having his slam breakthrough. We can’t get sick of these adorably tall big-servers Croats now, can we?

“Ajmo!”

Quickies.

September 5th, 2009 • 1 comment caro the danish cutie, demented, kiri's bf, laura "tiny pack of british awesomeness" robson, maria shutupova, melanie oudin new goat, muzzah, roger failderer, sorana banana, the radwanskas, williamses

My two picks of fun matches today:

• These babies against Sharapova. Believe.
• TEAM QT against each other. Cheering for the blonde.

Random/LOLtastic news:

• Really good article on NYT on how the order-of-play is decided. (via Savannah’s World)
• Andy Murray and Laura Robson to play Hopman Cup 2010. Another cool team and very good experience for the Tiny Pack of British Awesomeness. My heart will be torn between cheering for them or Elena Dementieva and Kiri’s bf Igor Andreev representing Russia.
• Aga Radwanska: “I will never play doubles with Ula again!” Rofl. I love you kids.
• Venus Williams hates paleontologists. Ross Geller not amused.
• PAPArazzi Failderer.

Happy thoughts, happy thoughts

August 15th, 2009 • 1 comment ali tsonga, holy rafa, muzzah, roger failderer

Rafa lost last night to Delpo in two sets. Why am I posting this piece of serious news where no mockery can come out of it? I’m being positive.

No sane Rafa fan expected the boy to defend his title after being out for over two months. He won a (full) match and played a very competitive first set against one of the best players on hardcourts so far this season. Baby steps, eh? From his presser:

Q. The knees are fine?

RAFAEL NADAL: Yeah, the knees are very good, so that’s very good. Yeah, I must be very happy about this tournament, yeah.

And to reassure us “everything’s going to be okay”:

RAFAEL NADAL: No, I’m very happy and everything was very positive today.

With this loss and Mandy moving to the semifinals after defeating a brainless Tsonga, this gives us a slight change on the rankings. Rafa will move down to the number three position and the British will move up. As much as I like Mandy, I don’t like the fact now we can have a Federer-Nadal slam semifinal. Remember the last two finals with them? Epic. Well, the important thing is to everyone to be healthy, right? Right?? Take care, boys.

Green fields, kittens, Andy Murray

July 1st, 2009 • 4 comments ace ace andy, muzzah

Look, you guys! It’s Mandy happily playing footie with his tennis ball and smiling like a happy kid and running on green grass all happeeeehhh! HAPPY. It’s almost like the newspaper with the second biggest circulation in the UK didn’t put him on the cover doing nothing but working out. It’s almost like there’s no pressure! It’s almost like he doesn’t have over sixty thousand people wanting him to win! It’s almost like this scene from Buffy, actually.

Good boy, Mandy, good boy! He plays the other Andy — the dull American one. Hey British Crowd, how about we pretend this is football for a second and you guys scream your assess off for you man? Yeah? All good!

ETA:

Oh LOL. I hope they shout “Come on, British Andy” just for the sake of it now.

WAGs > tennis players, obvs

July 1st, 2009 • 8 comments ace ace andy, maria shutupova, muzzah, roger failderer, tommy haas, wags

C’MON, MANDY!!!!! WIN THIS THING!!!!!!

Moving on.

Roddick‘s wife, the “model”, Brookly Decker… teasing the photographers? Because, honestly, I can’t think of anything sexier than a piece of paper. Nom nom nom. And I remember looking for that cap in every single Lacoste store in Paris when that thing came out and they only had in men’s size. So either they released smaller model now or she has a very a big head. *insert 5645 dirty jokes involving the word head + her “modelling” career here* Yes, I am a terrible person. No wonder people search those awful things and it leads them to my blog.

Sara Foster, sweetie, you’re not that famous. Why are you hiding? Was today’s “pretend you’re goth” day? No? Then the answer is GET A BETTER OUTFIT. You have to dress better or the title of my favourite WAG will go to Mirka or something. Oh lol, I kid, I kid. I could never trade you for Miroslava. Maybe for Kim Sears, but certainly not for Mirka! :D

And just because I’m sure everyone misses the best WAG that has ever been — Camilla Belle, I must post a pic to remember the good times.

Bonus: a picture of the happy couple at its prime* before Camilla moved onto the ATP/prepubescent Disney boys.

*Must not make Muff Muncher jokes. Must not make Muff Muncher jokes. Must not make Muff Muncher jokes. Oh damn.

Match of the day

June 29th, 2009 • 2 comments baby feds, holy rafa, kfc, muzzah, wags, watching tennis is cool

This is why five-setters win at life. Mandy‘s match against Stan was beyond entertaining. I’m sure you can read some very long report praising Mandy anywhere else like the Wimbledon website and such — I’ll just say it was a victory for the fans. Look at that picture, Henman Hill (or Murray Mound, whatever) is full. People that don’t have tickets for CC are seating there at open air at 10 pm to watch tennis. I, personally, want Mandy to take the whole thing. Hell, Rafa isn’t playing and I don’t have any high hopes for Juanqui. I like seeing crowds happy (most of the time). A British champion would make a beautiful day at Wimbledon and in all London.

Now, onto Muzzah’s chances of taking the crown. I think a tough match like this is important for building up his mental side during the tournament. Specially an unique one like this one with the roof closed and all. Seriously, IMPORTANT ROOF IS IMPORTANT. I had to mention that. Just ask @Wimbledon. I was surprised they didn’t manage to put “roof” in Twitter’s Trending Topics. I think Murray can take out Federer, but oh boy, I don’t want to jinx him. That’s the British press’ job!

And about the shallow part of the match: Kim‘s white blazer is very cute, innit?

Actually, white blazer, black t-shirt and short denim shorts? I give the whole outfit an A+.

P.S.  I tried to make Judy out of focus in the picture…….. it didn’t work.