The shallow

October 1st, 2009 • 1 comment danka, demented, nastya myskina, spice girls, tennis players are rockstars too, vika azarenka, yanina wickmayer

I’ve a watched a total of one match in Tokyo: the Pavs-Venus one. I do not have the hypocrisy to comment on the tennis. I could look at the stats, read the articles and come up with my own thoughts but not having actually watched the matches, I’d feel like I was lying. Therefore, I’ll comment on what I can:

Vika. In shorts!

“Is that really blog-worthy?”, you might ask. “Yes”, I’d say, “It’s my blog, shut up.”

I love tennis skirts. I even prefer to play in skirts, they look cuter. But when every WTA-er is playing in one… it gets boring. I wonder if it’s a femininity thing. Because the girls are professional athletes, with strong muscles and all, maybe they feel like they get girlier in skirts. If that’s the case: fail, ladies, fail. Most of the time, a fitting pair of short shorts look a lot more feminine and sexier than these loose dresses at the hips they wear.

If you’re a professional tennis player reading this and you’re wondering what to wear next season, let me help you. I imagine the headband is a given. So let’s continue on the shorts — which type suits you best.

Considered one of the sport’s greatest fashion style, Anna K. knew how to wear her shorts.

The belt is what makes the outfit. In both cases, it’s used to complement the bi-colour scheme. Simple, feminine and stylish. Even Elena Dementieva wore a rip-off (+ ridiculously amounts of FAIL) from Yonex.

Another player that was famous for her short-wearing was crazy, crazy Nastya Myskina. When she isn’t on reality shows, making out with girlbands members or riding horses naked… she is wearing shorts! Trufax.

And to finish this (because oh my goodness, it was serious HARD), lovely Daniela Hantuchova and Yanina Wickmayer.

Today’s Lesson: LESS dresses that make you look like you’re pregnant, MORE shorts.

Professional tennis players, feel free to e-mail me for fashion help. It will only cost a small fee. Ty.

Pop music and breast implants

August 19th, 2009 • 1 comment nastya myskina, the russian sexgod, wags

Yesterday, to the dismay of all tennis fangirls around the world, DTL reported that Maratski is getting married. According to rumors, the Russian SEXGOD will tie the knot with his fancy blowup doll girlfriend, Nastya Osipova, of pop group Blestyashchie. Now, when I read that, the band’s name immediately rang a bell. And, shockingly enough, I’m not particularly familiar with Slavic girlbands, no. So where did I know this amazing piece of Eastern European music from?

Well, remember this?

This being when former Roland Garros champion, Anastasia Myskina, was caught* lip-locking with a woman with huge fake breasts? Well, that woman was Anna Semenovich. Who, according to Wiki, is a retired competitive ice dancer, singer, actress, model and, of course, former member of Blestyashchie. After some very entertaining research, I found out that Marat’s girlfriend joined that band to replace Nastya’s, uh, friend.

Awesome, right? These two grew together, played Hopman Cup together and are now are sleeping their way through some trashy girlband together. Just when you think the Russians couldn’t entertain me more… they do that. And just to help the girls (and boys) mourn, have some hot pictures of Maratski:

*by caught, I mean when she basically just turned to the cameras and said “Hey, look how I’m such a rockstar and make out with chicks”