Kids, don’t buy drugs. Become a tennis commentator and you get them for free!

August 3rd, 2010 • 4 comments Off-Topic

This is one of the funniest videos I’ve seen in a while. One of ESPN‘s tennis commentators, Mary Carillo, gives spectators a crazy, inspired rant on what happens when you play badminton in your backyard. Spoiler: bad things, apparently! It’s back from the Olympics in Athens in 2004 but maybe you haven’t seen it. I hadn’t.

Now, serioulsy, that looks like a scene out of The Anchorman. Or Sports Night if Casey McCall was on crack.

(Video via Foot Fault!)

Getting down with 3P (Porn, Petkorazzi and, uh…)

May 27th, 2010 • 4 comments Andrea Petkovic, Off-Topic

Play starts in eight hours and I should be getting some sleep but I’m too busy laughing at my own blog. My dorkiness — IT KNOWS NO BOUNDS. I was looking at the recent ‘search terms’ that lead people to Fierce Tennis and I started giggling like a maniac. I believe it’s time for another of these posts.

DUN DUN DUN. *cue to dramatic music* (Also, apparently my readers have an obsession with who’s gay and who isn’t? Colour me surprised. Let me get on with it now.)

Just today, some of the search terms were:

• lesbian sex wta tour
• rezai slut
• almagro shirtless (ED NOTE: ew.)
• verdasco lopez baby

A few more from this past week:

• did justine henin have a baby
• tennis player forget her shorts
• vika azarenka cameltoe
• “elena dementieva” and “crotch”
• wobbly legs porn
• myskina naked free
• andy roddick ass
• allez bitch

ALSO: I sense a theme:

• petkorazzi
• petkovic andrea
• andrea petkovic grunt
• andrea petkovic legs
• petkorazzi
• is andrea petkovic a lesbian (ED NOTE: Yes, she is.*)
• andrea petkovic grunt
• andrea petkovic hot

And here, a Petkorazzi picture because that’s obviously the only thing you guys are interested in:

You guys know she choked, right?

I feel like I should be more selective of what I post. Soon Google will mistake my blog for a porn website. A gay porn website.

*Jk.

A few quick links!

January 18th, 2010 • Agnieszka Radwanska, Ana Ivanovic, Andy Roddick, Off-Topic, Rafael Nadal, WAGs

• Australian Open‘s website in their mobile version. Very good for checking scores when you’re in the movies or simply away from the computer.
• Free AO livestreams: ATDHE.net, FromSport, LiveScoreHunter.

And “news”:

• Andy Roddick‘s wife Brookly Decker in a suit for Elle Magazine. Oh, oh-kay.
• Rafa Nadal om nom nom. I have a feeling he’ll be stripping more to tone down the ridiculousness of his outfit.
• Doesn’t Aga Radwanska clean up nicely? Gracing the cover of magazines and rocking some great hair.
• Ana‘s blogging from Melbourne.
• The Guardian‘s “Australian Open Day 1 in Pictures“.

28-year-old? Amazing how fast time goes by when you’re having fun.

EXCITED??????????????????? (the capslock and multiple question marks say ‘yes’)

January 16th, 2010 • 1 comment Off-Topic

Today’s OOP.

Women’s Draw.

Men’s Draw.

LET THE FUN BEGIN! @fiercetennis will be spamming tweeting about the matches live. Whee.