Hey dude, where’s your ’24′ jacket?

June 1st, 2010 • 1 comment roger failderer, sodermort

In case you are the worst tennis fan ever/lives in a bubble, half an hour ago, this happened.

And it was amazing.

I feel this is the way of the Tennis Gods repaying me for the utter disaster that was the Holy Slam in 2009. Being there and having to deal with my baby Rafa‘s loss to the devil incarnated was a quite traumatic experience. But you know what they say: that everyone has a bit of evil in them (Do people say that? Or did I just make that up?). Today, the devil won. AND I LOVED EVERY SINGLE SECOND OF IT.

The match was high-level and competitive. Soderling was bashing the ball like there was no tomorrow, making Federer play defensive. I have a feeling that if the Swiss had gotten more first serves in (I didn’t even check the stats), the match could have gone differently. Soderling was really pouncing on those second serves. Hitting backhand and forehand winners all over the court. In the end, he held tight to those crucial breaks and got the match.  That was some superb tennis from him.

I’d put the devil as the second biggest contender for the title now. It’s funny how he wasn’t even having a good clay season and, yet, he comes to Paris and pulls of the biggest upset once again. Even with the crowd heavily against him (stfu, Frenchies).

Federer’s loss means that if Rafa takes the title, he’ll go back to the number one position. This slam just got a lot more interesting.

Let’s play a guessing game

March 17th, 2010 • 2 comments beth mattek the official wta fashionist, roger failderer, tennis players are fashionists too

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Amazing.

My thoughts on the final a.k.a. why I think Mandy failed to capture his first Slam title

February 1st, 2010 • muzzah, roger failderer

I suppose that, as a “tennis blogger”, it is my job to write about the final. Fucking hell.

Before Sunday, I would have said Murray was the favourite. The quality of the tennis he had been playing up until the final was higher than Federer‘s. He was moving well (Rafa well, The Flash well) and playing very consistently. He was even coming up with some magical passing shots that we counterpunching fans love so much. But what was really making Andy clutch his wins has the ability to transit from defense to attack. It’s what made him dominate Rafa Nadal. He was coming to the net at unexpected moments, making his opponent feel at a constant unease.

In the final match, Murray had a few (understatement, oy) problems. We could start by the serve. In the first set, he had a first serve percentage as low as 45% and no aces at all. Not only he wasn’t being able to do damage with his first serve, but he could hardly get it in. In that same set he did 11 unforced errors, which in the Mandy scale of UEs, is enough for a whole match. He was playing solely on the defense and made only 5 winners. “It’s ok, it’s the nerves, he’ll wake up in the second set.”

Well, he didn’t. But it did get better. He made the same number of UEs and winners — which, for a player with Mandy’s playing style, is a quite shitty stat.

Third set, the serve improved. 60% in and 8 aces. With that, he managed to get a lead. He served for the set at 5-3 but was broken at love. The set went to the tiebreak: game, set and match, Mr. Federer.

I’d like to show the stat that, for me, defined the match. No, it wasn’t Mandy’s awful serving.

The crazy netplay that Mandy had showed us in his previous match wasn’t present in the final. And don’t let the stat trick you, he didn’t even go to the net “that much”.  Most of them were due to Federer‘s dropshots. It seems like, in the final, Mandy forgot what the word attacking meant.

Now, I’ll do something that I love to do: blame the British media. Dear British journalists, how about you guys think why such a rich country like yours haven’t won a slam in 73 years? Did Henman really not have what it takes to win a slam? I mean, even Andy Roddick won one. Was Henman worse on grass than Ferrero, Moya or Gaudio on clay? They all won Slams. It’s pointless to hype up players*. It’s even more pointless to dump a country’s expectations on just one person. I realize the money they invested on this boy is ridiculous — but he’s only human. This is tennis, a sport where the mental part is as important as the physical. If not more.

I hate the idea that all that talent might be waste due to media pressure. Federer himself said these two weeks were perhaps the best of his career. Why? He played loose. Now that he has won all four Slams and already surpassed Sampras‘ record, he says he’s playing without pressure on himself. Let’s recall something here. Federer, last year, didn’t manage to win his 14th Slam at the Australian Open and, in front of Rod Laver and other Slam champions, cracked. This year, Mandy failed to win his maiden title. What happened? Boy crying in the microphone, excusing himself for not being able to win the title for his people.

A lesson learned, ladies and gents: pressure can work as motivation. Or it can do the exact opposite. Cheers.

*PLS LEAVE LAURA ROBSON ALONE.

Upset of the day: Andreev wins a set off Federer.

January 19th, 2010 • kiri's bf, roger failderer

Q. Your boyfriend plays Federer. Have you had a word about how to take down the big guns?

MARIA KIRILENKO: Yeah, he had Federer and I have Sharapova. I think before the matches he said that we can start the year like loud, you know (laughter). And I already start the year loud, I think. So now his turn. Of course is going to be tough, but, you know, in the first round, you know, never know what’s gonna happen.

Q. Yesterday your friend Miss Kirilenko said you had urged her to make a loud noise to enter the year. She said she did that and now it was your turn.

IGOR ANDREEV: She put too much pressure on me. (Laughter.) Like after she win the match she said, Okay, now it’s your turn. No, I was happy she won yesterday. She won because ‑‑ not only because she won, but she played very good match. Very good tennis.

The last time Federer and Andreev played before yesterday’s match, it was the 2008 U.S. Open. To say it was similar would be an understatement. It was the same thing, one set less. They played in an equal level during the first sets but, in the end, Federer mentally prevailed 6-7(5), 7-6(5), 6-3, 3-6, 6-3.

In Melbourne, Igor had three set points to take the third set and lead 2-1, he wasted in such ways I still find unbelievable. I’m sure he had nightmares about one of these forehands.

That being said, I congratulate Igor. By the way he was playing Hopman Cup, I didn’t imagine him putting a fight here. It was a brave effort, let this show him how he can play tennis and inspire him to FUCKING DEFEAT FEDERER NEXT TIME. All right, Iggy? Awesome.

Oh yeah, and also Sodermort was ousted in the first roud. What a pity. SEE YOU AROUND, DUDE.

Last post of 2009, cheers!

December 31st, 2009 • 1 comment holy rafa, roger failderer

*no caption needed* (I don’t know if the default ‘NOM OM OM’ is appropriate here)

Rafa Nadal and Roger Federer gave press conferences today in Abu Dhabi for the Capitala World Tennis Championship (I like how they make a 3-day exhibition sound like the hottest thing since Wimbledon). The boys will get into court on the first day of 2010 – Federer will play the winner of Soderling and Wawrinka, Rafa will play the winner of Ferrer (replacing Tsonga) and Davydenko.

This ought to be fun.

Now all that needs to happen is the CAPITALA WORLD TENNIS CHAMPIONSHIP to actually do a proper job updating that website. That can’t be hard, can it? CAN IT?

Here some pictures of the boys practicing in the shiny court they have there.

Exhibitions that are so EPIC that might as well be called tournaments

December 28th, 2009 • 3 comments baby feds, bb safina, dima tursunov, holy rafa, jo tsonga, kolya, nadia petrova, roger failderer, sodermort, the russian sexgod

It’s almost over. Soon we’ll be back to our normal state and not have the need to have this picture as our mobiles’ wallpapers: THE 2010 SEASON IS UPON US.

*cue to instrumental music*

We’re now getting ready for the EPIC exhibitions coming up. In Abu Dhabi, we have this amazingly strong field + Wawrinka.

Play begins on the 31st and this is how the three days will exhibition work.

If you ask me, I’d say they should give Byes to the semifinals in all tournaments Rafa plays. Ahem.

But the exhibition I’m really, really excited to is, the one and only, Hopman Cup.

*cue to even more instrumental music*

Hopman Cup always brings the hilarity to tennis courts. This year, we had the super siblings Safins getting all the way to the final and being hilarious while doing so:

In 2007, we had, well, Dmitry Tursunov.

This year, here’s the full list of the teams:

So excuse me if I have high expectations of Team Russia this year. I’m hoping Igor will shown a bit of personality on court. Maybe he’ll deserve his own title instead of “Kiri‘s boyfriend”. But, hell, aren’t the teams just AWESOME this year? Let’s put aside the EPICNESS that is Russia for a second here and focus on the others. Sabine + Kolschi? Baby Pusher + Ace boy? Dream Australian Team? Sorana Banana + Romanian dude? LAURA ROBSON + ANDY MURRAY? Why yes, I am excited.

How about a HOPMAN CUP POLL? Fun y/y?

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The internet is wonderful

September 6th, 2009 • 2 comments john isner, kiri is 2 hot 4 u, nicolas almagro, roger failderer

Proof someone agrees with me regarding the Isner*/Jake G. thing:

And let’s not discuss what people searched that led them to my blog again. Nicolas Almagro sex? Why would anyone want to know more about that? Honestly, ew.

Just so this post isn’t absurdly short (and pointless), a few of Google’s truths:

Thank you, Google, for your wise, wise words.

*P.S. What’s up with giant boy being on Louis Armstrong tomorrow? I’m not amused, crappy scheduling.

Quickies.

September 5th, 2009 • 1 comment caro the danish cutie, demented, kiri's bf, laura "tiny pack of british awesomeness" robson, maria shutupova, melanie oudin new goat, muzzah, roger failderer, sorana banana, the radwanskas, williamses

My two picks of fun matches today:

• These babies against Sharapova. Believe.
• TEAM QT against each other. Cheering for the blonde.

Random/LOLtastic news:

• Really good article on NYT on how the order-of-play is decided. (via Savannah’s World)
• Andy Murray and Laura Robson to play Hopman Cup 2010. Another cool team and very good experience for the Tiny Pack of British Awesomeness. My heart will be torn between cheering for them or Elena Dementieva and Kiri’s bf Igor Andreev representing Russia.
• Aga Radwanska: “I will never play doubles with Ula again!” Rofl. I love you kids.
• Venus Williams hates paleontologists. Ross Geller not amused.
• PAPArazzi Failderer.

Fierce Fashin

September 2nd, 2009 • 2 comments bondarenkos, caro the danish cutie, demented, maria shutupova, roger failderer, squeaky shoes ivanovic, tennis players are fashionists too

Continuing the discussion on the outfits of the USO that are worth mentioning, I’ll start with my favourite one: Sharapova‘s.

For those that don’t know me, I love to hate Sharapova. She’s my personal punching bag I use to mock: awkward running, lolzy net skills, doubtful fashion taste, doubtful sexual orientation. It’s all good hearted and, well, fun. So for her to win the “Best Outfit of the US Open Award”, it’s a great achievement. Gurl probably knows winning Wimbledon at 17 is nothing comparing to my fashion approval. Let’s see the outfit then, yeah?

First, the chavvy part in me thinks this would look even more badass if it was in black+gold. But as pointed out by loltennis, I’m sure Nike has rules where it states that only The Monogram can wear gold. I feel your pain, Masha. But still, the silver headband is GAWJUZ. It’s a nice improvement to see her wearing a tight dress — let’s not forget her last outfit was the spiderwoman‘s and it made her hips look huge. You know it’s a NIKE FASHION FAIL when you’ve made a 6’2″ skinny woman look fat. Part of me is interested to see how the day dress looks… the other part just wants her to lose in the next round so she doesn’t play Lena. Oh, mixed feelings, how I love thee.

From yesterday’s biggest upset, Ana Ivanovic‘s pretty purple dress:

As much as I was loudly cheering for the Baby Bondarenko, shame we won’t get to see the day version of the ensemble. It was pretty.

And the most expected fashion happening in tennis this year (for me), Caro Wozniacki in Stella McCartney.

One word: disappointment. It just looks like a less colourful, less detailed version of number two here with some extra ruffs. I think it’s time for Adidas to start considering some other designers for their high fashion collection. If you guys could pick, who would it be? I’d want Karl Lagerfeld.

Happy thoughts, happy thoughts

August 15th, 2009 • 1 comment ali tsonga, holy rafa, muzzah, roger failderer

Rafa lost last night to Delpo in two sets. Why am I posting this piece of serious news where no mockery can come out of it? I’m being positive.

No sane Rafa fan expected the boy to defend his title after being out for over two months. He won a (full) match and played a very competitive first set against one of the best players on hardcourts so far this season. Baby steps, eh? From his presser:

Q. The knees are fine?

RAFAEL NADAL: Yeah, the knees are very good, so that’s very good. Yeah, I must be very happy about this tournament, yeah.

And to reassure us “everything’s going to be okay”:

RAFAEL NADAL: No, I’m very happy and everything was very positive today.

With this loss and Mandy moving to the semifinals after defeating a brainless Tsonga, this gives us a slight change on the rankings. Rafa will move down to the number three position and the British will move up. As much as I like Mandy, I don’t like the fact now we can have a Federer-Nadal slam semifinal. Remember the last two finals with them? Epic. Well, the important thing is to everyone to be healthy, right? Right?? Take care, boys.