Beautiful, Beautiful Bali

November 4th, 2009 • 7 comments aravane rezai, bepa z., sabine sparkles, yanina wickmayer

And the only player in focus is Sabine.

I see what you did there, WTA.

Wicky and the pink snake strangling her are not amused.

This week in bitchiness

August 2nd, 2009 • 2 comments bb safina, can't hear your grunt well enough de brito, demented, jj, larcher de "louder pls, maria shutupova, marion bartoli, sabine sparkles, williamses

Stanford has been really good. If not by the matches, then at least for the interviews and loltastic statements given by the players. Everyone knows that one of the biggest differences between the WTA and the ATP is the SASS. The girls are just better at bringing some of the off-court drama to the court and being oh-so-bitter losers. Thank goodness for that, eh?

This week, it all started with Bartoli answering the question of who she’d rather play: Lisicki or JJ. She said Jankovic, “I always beat her”, for leading their head-to-head 3-0 at the time.

Former number one, JJ, who really didn’t take that one lightly, said:

“She talks like she’s just Serena Williams. Everybody had a right to say what she wants. I’m not really focused on Bartoli. She’s not like my biggest rival or someone I look up to or I’m scared of. She’s just one of the players on tour, not a big name, or someone who is making the big results or headlines in the game.”

Of course JJ would lose after that, even wasting two match points. Way to prove a point, Jay. And to create some more drama, let’s just say Jelena’s first statement meant she was calling Serena an arrogant b*tch as well. So, still, not satisfied with having attacked both Serena and Fatty, JJ… kept her mouth opened.

“To be number one, you should be complete and if you are number one you have to be beating the Williams sisters. I’m one of the rare players who has a positive record against the Williams sisters”

So this leaves JJ’s list of “Players I trash talked to this week” like this: Dinara Safina, Serena Williams and Jelena Jankovic. I wonder if she can still release a statement until Monday to say Sharapova is not really Russian or that Larcher de Brito‘s grunts should be banned. You know, just to make it longer.

After that lenghty list, Bartoli intimidated seeing Jankovic steal her Stanford’s SASSIEST MOUTH spotlight. She decided to trash… Lena. Yes, Loser-of-the-Week Lena. These were Bartoli words about her expectations regarding today’s final against Venus:

“My first goal tomorrow is not to lose 6-0 6-1″

For the sake of it, I hope she gets double bagelled just so Lena can come out and say “OH LOL TOO BAD”.

And just because I think this is the perfect time to bring up this wonderful macro, here it goes:

Bye Bye Babes

July 1st, 2009 • anne keothavong, demented, maria shutupova, marion bartoli, sabine sparkles, sorana banana, squeaky shoes ivanovic

Oh, the lolz. As a big fan of gossip of any kind, I have no shame in admitting I love sleazy tabloids. And The Sun‘s coverage of Wimbledon? Does not fail at making me laugh. Click above to see a slideshow of all the “babes” that have already lost (their excuse for no Lena, I s’pose?). Its only mistake is having fifty pictures of Maria and Ana and none of Sorana Banana. And is Sabine considered hot by men? Really? Weird.

But now, if you want to roll on the floor laughing, take a look at The Sun‘s Top 10 Tennis babes. I’ll give you a couple of teasers:
#10 Anne Keothavong (because if there isn’t a British, then it isn’t The Sun!)
#09 Marion Bartoli (LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL forever)

It's gonna be a bumpy ride

June 29th, 2009 • 6 comments caro the danish cutie, sabine sparkles, tennis players are rockstars too

More LAWLZ from the Sabine-Caro bump.

You can just hear Caro going in her head “BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITCH, pls”. I want as many pictures of “the bump” as possible.

Q. Seemed to be an instant where you almost bumped at net at the changeover. What happened there?

SABINE LISICKI: You know, I don’t know. We’ve been changing the sides all the time, you know, the whole match. I was always passing on the left side and she was passing on the right side. So, I don’t know. She all of a sudden went to the side I was passing all the time, and we just bumped each other.

But, I mean, there’s no big deal for me.

Q. You were a little bit unhappy. You had a quick word with the umpire.

SABINE LISICKI: Me?

Q. Yes.

SABINE LISICKI: No, it was her. She was discussing with him. I was just focusing for the next game.

O snap, you guys. She blames Caro. O SNAP. Someone should have asked if she thought they were still friends — you know, for the drama. Goodness knows how much the British press enjoys a bitch fight.

And because everything gets funnier when gif-ed:

"I'm not invisible"

June 29th, 2009 • bb safina, caro the danish cutie, momo the sassy french lesbian sex kitten, sabine sparkles, tennis players are rockstars too

“WTF, DUDE?”

Listening to Caro say she’s not invisible with the heavier accent I’ve ever seen come out of her mouth followed by a little pout makes me realize that, in end, they’re all just big kids. ♥ I hope Sabine and her continue to be friends. Because, geez, Danish Cutie looked a lot pissed, complaining to the umpire and all. And Sabine didn’t even move to say sorry or anything like that — she just sat there. Sometimes (and by that, I mean always) you gotta love all the drama in the WTA. Thank you for the entertainment, girls. I really appreciate.

You can download the video of the bump here. Congrats to Sabine in her QFs (even though I want Dina or Momo to win).

Winner of the day

June 27th, 2009 • 4 comments caro the danish cutie, chaky, kuzzy, sabine sparkles, vika azarenka

The lovely 19-year-old (89/90 generation, yo!) Sabine Lisicki that defeated birthday girl and RG champion Kuz to make her first appearance at a Slam’s second week ever. What a cutie.

From what I’ve watched of the second set, Kuz played like shit. But congrats to Sabine to not choking and going through that tough first round match against Chokevetadze. She plays Caro now. Please be a nice girl lose, Sabine. Tyvm.

Question. Why do we get pictures of Kuzzy like this but not from Vika? I call bullshit.