Sugary Sunshine

October 9th, 2009 • 6 comments caro the danish cutie, sorana banana

There are puppies, there are kittens, there are rainbows and there are Sorana Banana and Caro Wozniacki. I believe if all of these things were put in a big fluffy pink basket, the world would IMPLODE from all the cuteness.

Caro and Sorana have been a part of Team Adidas for quite some time now. The head coach, lucky bastard, Sven Groeveneld, posted that adorable picture above on his blog. Considering the fact I don’t speak Dutch (I know, surprising), I’ll do my best with my kind friend translating Google Translate mindfucks for me.

The team, being as close as ever,  gave each others nicknames. Caro is Sunshine, due her constant happiness and smile plastered on her face. Sorana is Sugar, because she’s so sweet. Sven is Seven… because… I don’t know, they thought it was funny?

The cuteness fact multiplies when you find out it was actually Sorana’s initiative to put the nicknames on their shirts. And the poor cute thing couldn’t even get the quotation marks right. Awn, bless her.

Quickies.

September 5th, 2009 • 1 comment caro the danish cutie, demented, kiri's bf, laura "tiny pack of british awesomeness" robson, maria shutupova, melanie oudin new goat, muzzah, roger failderer, sorana banana, the radwanskas, williamses

My two picks of fun matches today:

• These babies against Sharapova. Believe.
• TEAM QT against each other. Cheering for the blonde.

Random/LOLtastic news:

• Really good article on NYT on how the order-of-play is decided. (via Savannah’s World)
• Andy Murray and Laura Robson to play Hopman Cup 2010. Another cool team and very good experience for the Tiny Pack of British Awesomeness. My heart will be torn between cheering for them or Elena Dementieva and Kiri’s bf Igor Andreev representing Russia.
• Aga Radwanska: “I will never play doubles with Ula again!” Rofl. I love you kids.
• Venus Williams hates paleontologists. Ross Geller not amused.
• PAPArazzi Failderer.

This might as well become a pictures blog

August 7th, 2009 • 1 comment caro the danish cutie, maria shutupova, sorana banana, the radwanskas, vika azarenka, watching tennis is cool

Sorana Banana took out Aga Radwanska today with a 7-6(4) 1-6 7-5. Not even taking in consideration Banana is unseeded, she won one game total in her last two matches against Aga combined. One. So, yes, I’d call that result an upset. Aga was serving for the match at 5-4, while Sorana was crying with her head down as Adidas coach Sven calmed her down. I was already in a midst of screaming “YES!!!! AGA!!!!” and “Poor Sori :(” when shebroke Aga’s serve. Caro was watching the tight match from the sidelines, looking as cute as ever — nervously biting her fingernails. Oy. Now this makes eight quarterfinals so far this year for Aga. Eight quarterfinals and no semis. I’d say someone has a problem.

Her opponents reactions regarding her recent wins, you ask?

Not so good, no.

What about Sorana?

Happy times.

Oh Sorana, you think you can come here and sway me with your smile only?

.

.

.

Fine, gurl. Good luck in the semis. I’ll be cheering for you. Idk why the players think they can make me forget the WOES they bring me so fast.

No, Vika, I will not forget all the FAIL that was losing second round to an off-form Sharapova.

FINE, FINE. Kick ass in Cincy then, will you?

The Danish Cutie update

August 6th, 2009 • 6 comments caro the danish cutie, maria shutupova, sorana banana, tennis players are fashionists too, the radwanskas, vika azarenka

As Vika and Sharapova battle out on LA, I post here. Why? Because there’s no frakkin’ stream. WOES doesn’t quite cover it. So, instead, I’m going to do a ¡CARO UPDATE! post. I don’t know if it’s because I’m truly biased and love the kid to death or because she really brings the lolz.

The following are pictures of Caro on the evening of her 19th birthday. After losing the Båstad final, she went to Copenhagen to celebrate, truly in style, at a Britney Spears concert.

According to the source, not only was there, but also the Radwanskas (link to pic of Happy!Caro hugging Happy!Aga). Rest of the pictures are here.

Can I just comment on Caro’s purse for a a second here? That’s either fake or the ugliest piece of clothing Karl Lagerfeld has ever designed. Seriously, what is that? It always baffles me how people with much money can dress so poorly. I will present someone with a cookie if they can find the collection that monstrosity belongs to. And if Caro wanted some over the top Chanel bag, this is what she should have bought. SILLY GIRL. Where’s Vika to teach you these things?

But you know, whatever whatever. At least bitch is wurkin’ her purple nail polish. Onto the rest of the “LOL Caro, what ya doin’?”:

Caro practicing in LA. Clothes are so obviously overrated. And last, but not least, Caro meets David Beckham.

P.S. Vika, YOU IDIOT. I don’t need to watch the match to know you played like a moron. The number of Sharapova’s double faults already tells me that.

Feel good picture of the day

July 10th, 2009 • 2 comments caro the danish cutie, sorana banana

So I’m having computer issues and the prospect of having to take my desktop to the Apple Store doesn’t sound all that exciting. Russia is down 0-2. All very uggghhhhhh (for me). So what is good? Caro‘s parents and Sorana Banana watching Danish Cutie’s match. :D

Oh cuteness.

"Gay as a tennis player" is a recurring joke, I'm telling ya

July 9th, 2009 • 2 comments caro the danish cutie, gael monfils, gillou, gise dulko, kiri is 2 hot 4 u, sorana banana

I swear to goodness, tennis must be the only thing on earth that makes me run out on jokes. I seriously can not come up with anything wittier than “OH LOL YOU HOMOS” after looking at those pictures. I’ll leave the funny to movies then, eh? And isn’t tennis + fashion + pop culture a cool mix? I BELIEVE SO, yes.

Ok, this has absolutely nothing to do with the post (unless you want to make a gay joke regarding how Caro sits and the fact she really likes ABBA) but…

This picture? That’s a freakin’ creepy smile going on there. I can almost see her going in her head “MWAHAHAHA *evil laugh*”. Geez. I bet she’s coming up with an evil plan how she’s going to moonball Kiri to death tomorrow. Also, glittery purple nail polish? What is she? A Scandinavian drag queen? For fuck’s sake, Caro. You’re lucky I love you sometimes. Or not — depends how you look at it, actually.

Poor Man's Stella

July 8th, 2009 • 2 comments kiri is 2 hot 4 u, sorana banana, tennis players are fashionists too

What a weird feeling of familiarity. Is this like a déjà vu? Why am I going through this?
.
.
.
O wait.

Oh yeaaaaaaahhhhhhh. Adidas by Stella McCartney, Australian hardcourt season 2006. Good times.

Now, see, if they weren’t BOTH by Adidas, I’d say that was a blatant rip-off. It’s a bit like in real fashion. They have some kind of purse at Chanel, and a few seasons later, GAP is manufacturing a cheap, less awesome version. Sorana‘s dress has gorgeous colours and I like the way the top fits. But Kiri‘s? It’s so pretty I wouldn’t even want to wear to play tennis in it, I’d go clubbing with it or something.

But something Banana keeps on rocking:

Matching her nail polish colour to tiny details. It’s lovely.

Bye Bye Babes

July 1st, 2009 • anne keothavong, demented, maria shutupova, marion bartoli, sabine sparkles, sorana banana, squeaky shoes ivanovic

Oh, the lolz. As a big fan of gossip of any kind, I have no shame in admitting I love sleazy tabloids. And The Sun‘s coverage of Wimbledon? Does not fail at making me laugh. Click above to see a slideshow of all the “babes” that have already lost (their excuse for no Lena, I s’pose?). Its only mistake is having fifty pictures of Maria and Ana and none of Sorana Banana. And is Sabine considered hot by men? Really? Weird.

But now, if you want to roll on the floor laughing, take a look at The Sun‘s Top 10 Tennis babes. I’ll give you a couple of teasers:
#10 Anne Keothavong (because if there isn’t a British, then it isn’t The Sun!)
#09 Marion Bartoli (LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL forever)

Wimbledon says “Go Make Me a Sandwich, Bitch!”*

June 29th, 2009 • 7 comments baby mario, bb safina, bepa z., caro the danish cutie, demented, kiri is 2 hot 4 u, kuzzy, radek sexynek, sorana banana, vika azarenka, virginie razzano, williamses

*This was written by a good friend of mine, Ivy. I told her if she wrote an article blasting the sexism regarding Wimbledon organizers (admitted by them), I’d gladly post it here. So there you go, enjoy the read.

Hey, remember in 2005, when there was all that controversy about Wimbledon refusing to pay equal prize money to men and women? And then we all LOL’ed when the women’s final was longer than the men’s final?

Yes, quite a few of the arguments were legit. Women DON’T play 5-sets and MAY not have the depth of the men’s draw (But seriously? Andy Roddick made slam finals. UR POINT IS MOOT. LOL). But that’s not the point. Equal prize money is a principle, validating men and women as equals. Because here’s the truth: women work just as hard as men to compete at a professional level, incur the same costs as men on the tour, and bring in just as much tournament revenue through star power as the men. So why not equal prize money?

Then Wimbledon finally acquiesced in 2007 and we all said “Yay! Sexism is over! Whoo Margaret Thatcher!” (Because it’s England, bitches.)

So, imagine my surprise when I noticed that only women deemed “attractive” by the Wimbledon organizers were being put on Centre Court. At first I was like, “Woah, been watching way too many specials on The History Channel about the Kennedy assassination.” But then I realized, Wimbledon is a sexist ponce that deserves to get called out on its shit.

The two big matches that had people (i.e. me) bitching? Caroline Wozniacki [9] vs Maria Kirilenko and Victoria Azarenka [8] vs Sorana Cirstea [28]. Why the bitching?

· Compared to the men’s seeds on CC (with the single exception of Marin Cilic), these girls were seeded too low/didn’t have the accomplishments to play on CC

· On the day that Caro was playing, DEFENDING CHAMPION Venus was playing on Court 1, World No.1 Safina was playing on Court 2, and 2009 French Open Champion Kuznetsova was playing on Court 3.

· On the day that Azarenka was playing, World No.4 and 2008 Wimbledon semifinalist Elena Dementieva was on Court 1, World No.2 and the infamous Serena Williams was on Court 2. FFS, even Zvonereva [7] vs. Razzano [26] were on Court 18, when BOTH women were seeded higher than the Centre Court match.

· Some other fun facts. During the first week, Dinara Safina did not play on Centre Court. Neither did Elena Dementieva nor Svetlana Kuznetsova. Venus played on Centre Court once, and Serena twice (out of three times, which isn’t a huge injustice.)

I guess you could say I was fairly pissed off that people who actually merited CC were not getting it.

a) It’s outrageous that women are judged on their looks and NOT on their merit.

b) It’s outrageous that men are judged on merit but not women.

Seriously? If the “pretty people up front, ugly people in the back” rule applied to the men’s side, Radek Stepanek would be bloody playing underground in the Subway!

I did a little investigative digging (basically, looking at the schedule of play on wimbledon.org) and noticed that on Centre Court and Court 1, the WTA matches: ATP matches ratio was 6:13 and 11:12 respectively. Not only are women getting on the big stage less, but the ones who DO are the ones who look the best, NOT the ones who have earned it.

The icing on top of the cake was when a Wimbledon representative actually CAME OUT and said that looks do matter in determining who gets Centre Court. Thanks, you asshat. My suspicions were confirmed that Wimbledon is not only sexist, but damn stupid as well. Cheers xx

BÁRBARA’S NOTE: I wish this blog had a less stupid name so the article would look less out of place. Sry bb.

Middle sunday, yo

June 28th, 2009 • 3 comments alizé cornet, caro the danish cutie, jj, kuzzy, sorana banana, tennis players are fashionists too, tennis players are rockstars too, vika azarenka

Well, I actually have nothing to report but I thought I was doing so well posting here everyday! Didn’t want to ruin that, did I? So how about I post on… nothing? Yeah? Exciting? Cool.

Via adeegee’s Wimbly reports, a few cute pictures of the girls:

Caro Wozniacki rocking out with her wayfarers.

Yeah, baby, you’re so .

Is she looking for her mojo? Idek but LOL either way, JJ.

Vika and her headband of sex. I wonder if she takes that thing off for showering and stuff.

Caro and  wear matching nail polish. ‘Nough said.

“Zomg Caro, did you see how adorable I just was?”

Track jacket. Want.

Watchya listenin’ to, Kuz? Lil’ Wayne?