Poll: Amazing or amazing?

May 27th, 2010 • nole jokevic, squeaky shoes ivanovic, victor troicki

Novak doing ‘Gipsy’. Did something else happen today? I was distracted by how much I suddenly want to bang Shakira.

Oh, yeah, that. Tough times.

What do Robert Pattinson and Ana Ivanovic have in common? They’re both allergic to vaginas! Wait…. what.

February 14th, 2010 • squeaky shoes ivanovic

Twilight star Robert Pattinson told Details magazine he’s allergic to vaginas. “How original” you may think. Well, you couldn’t be more mistaken, sir. Like in every other thing in the whole wide universe, tennis players have done it before. I’d like to enlighten this dusty blog with some vintage top notch journalism. Here, let me dazzle you with an Ana Ivanovic interview for British newspaper The Guardian.

Q: Are women attracted to you?

A: Oh my God, I’ve had a few uncomfortable experiences but I’m so allergic to that. I just can’t… even now when I see my friends and they just want to kiss the cheek. I prefer men.

Serious journalism. You find it at Fierce Tennis. ©

A few quick links!

January 18th, 2010 • ace ace andy, holy rafa, off-topic, squeaky shoes ivanovic, the radwanskas, wags

• Australian Open‘s website in their mobile version. Very good for checking scores when you’re in the movies or simply away from the computer.
• Free AO livestreams: ATDHE.net, FromSport, LiveScoreHunter.

And “news”:

• Andy Roddick‘s wife Brookly Decker in a suit for Elle Magazine. Oh, oh-kay.
• Rafa Nadal om nom nom. I have a feeling he’ll be stripping more to tone down the ridiculousness of his outfit.
• Doesn’t Aga Radwanska clean up nicely? Gracing the cover of magazines and rocking some great hair.
• Ana‘s blogging from Melbourne.
• The Guardian‘s “Australian Open Day 1 in Pictures“.

28-year-old? Amazing how fast time goes by when you’re having fun.

LOOSE SEAL LOOSE SEAL (and Ana Ivanovic)

December 23rd, 2009 • 2 comments squeaky shoes ivanovic

:D :D :D :D

Ana in the Sunshine Coast park in Australia. Holy shit that’s cute. I WANT MY OWN GIANT SEAL.

(picture via GloboEsporte)

FML.

September 4th, 2009 • 3 comments francesca schiavone, kiri is 2 hot 4 u, na li, squeaky shoes ivanovic, vika azarenka

I completely understand this year’s USO is one of these tourneys where everyone I even remotely care about loses early. But some things, just some things, are totally uncalled for. And these things, they not just hurt me, but they also also harm the ratings, increase the number of suicides and make the Wimbledon’s officials really, really sad. So I’m just throwing this one out there so  someone explains to me how we went from this possible match-up:

x

To get this?

x

I don’t get it. Why do the pretty girls need to be such headcases? So much frakkin’ talent and yet so brainless. Anyway.

Maria Kirilenko, congrulations on finally getting another third round at a slam. Next time, let’s make into the second week, yeah?

Victoria Azarenka, you’re an idiot. Please get your shit together and end this slump.

Oh yes, all the credit to Na Li and Fran. As Ana would say, the way you look doesn’t help you win points on a tennis court. But sometimes, you sure wish it did. I’m sure Ana would agree with me.

Fierce Fashin

September 2nd, 2009 • 2 comments bondarenkos, caro the danish cutie, demented, maria shutupova, roger failderer, squeaky shoes ivanovic, tennis players are fashionists too

Continuing the discussion on the outfits of the USO that are worth mentioning, I’ll start with my favourite one: Sharapova‘s.

For those that don’t know me, I love to hate Sharapova. She’s my personal punching bag I use to mock: awkward running, lolzy net skills, doubtful fashion taste, doubtful sexual orientation. It’s all good hearted and, well, fun. So for her to win the “Best Outfit of the US Open Award”, it’s a great achievement. Gurl probably knows winning Wimbledon at 17 is nothing comparing to my fashion approval. Let’s see the outfit then, yeah?

First, the chavvy part in me thinks this would look even more badass if it was in black+gold. But as pointed out by loltennis, I’m sure Nike has rules where it states that only The Monogram can wear gold. I feel your pain, Masha. But still, the silver headband is GAWJUZ. It’s a nice improvement to see her wearing a tight dress — let’s not forget her last outfit was the spiderwoman‘s and it made her hips look huge. You know it’s a NIKE FASHION FAIL when you’ve made a 6’2″ skinny woman look fat. Part of me is interested to see how the day dress looks… the other part just wants her to lose in the next round so she doesn’t play Lena. Oh, mixed feelings, how I love thee.

From yesterday’s biggest upset, Ana Ivanovic‘s pretty purple dress:

As much as I was loudly cheering for the Baby Bondarenko, shame we won’t get to see the day version of the ensemble. It was pretty.

And the most expected fashion happening in tennis this year (for me), Caro Wozniacki in Stella McCartney.

One word: disappointment. It just looks like a less colourful, less detailed version of number two here with some extra ruffs. I think it’s time for Adidas to start considering some other designers for their high fashion collection. If you guys could pick, who would it be? I’d want Karl Lagerfeld.

One day you're wearing Burberry….

July 11th, 2009 • 2 comments squeaky shoes ivanovic, tennis players are fashionists too

The other it looks like you belong to the circus.

Oh Ana, we weep for you.

Bye Bye Babes

July 1st, 2009 • anne keothavong, demented, maria shutupova, marion bartoli, sabine sparkles, sorana banana, squeaky shoes ivanovic

Oh, the lolz. As a big fan of gossip of any kind, I have no shame in admitting I love sleazy tabloids. And The Sun‘s coverage of Wimbledon? Does not fail at making me laugh. Click above to see a slideshow of all the “babes” that have already lost (their excuse for no Lena, I s’pose?). Its only mistake is having fifty pictures of Maria and Ana and none of Sorana Banana. And is Sabine considered hot by men? Really? Weird.

But now, if you want to roll on the floor laughing, take a look at The Sun‘s Top 10 Tennis babes. I’ll give you a couple of teasers:
#10 Anne Keothavong (because if there isn’t a British, then it isn’t The Sun!)
#09 Marion Bartoli (LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL forever)

Even if I drew a map to it

June 17th, 2009 • 1 comment squeaky shoes ivanovic

Because I honestly have nothing better to post but that picture from the Daily Mail. When I stumbled upon that piece of art, I stopped myself and asked: do we really we need the dress to show where Ana‘s crotch is located? Really? Can we not guess that? In my innocent girly mind, I believe even the dumbest of all dumb guys could figure that out. Either way, that picture makes the Sex Song by Tastiskank start playing on my head.

Kids, don’t listen to that. And don’t read (part of) the lyrics below either.

You’re the worst sex I’ve ever had
It was so fucking bad
You couldn’t ever find my clit
Even if I drew a map to it

Gotta appreciate my taste in pop music.

P.S. I love when you guys promote my blog. Makes me feel speshful.

Be Still My Heart

June 6th, 2009 • 2 comments bb safina, kuzzy, squeaky shoes ivanovic

This French Open will go down for me personally as the French Open of Heartbreaks. I still can’t get my head around the Rafa loss and this one… “wah” expresses my feelings. I just feel bad for Dinara. You could see she was thinking “yes, this is my turn now” through the deception on her eyes. I’d like to expresss my most sincere congratulations to Kuzzy. She played better and (surprisingly) didn’t choke. Pity about the end… can’t think of a worse way to end a Grand Slam final. Kuzzy was very classy with a very discreet celebration proving she’s a great champion. Well, now I just hope this loss doesn’t frak bb Dina’s head up. Keep on the good play and you will win there someday.

The best part of the final was in the ceremony when Steffi Graff (didn’t she look good in that suit???) presented the trophies. Kuzzy was such a fangirl. She kept talking about how she had never met Steffi before and then continue on rambling “I adore you! You’re great!”. Oh, Kuzzy, you dork, we adore you too.

And that classic picture of the champion in front of the Tour Eiffel? That will have me LOL-ing for all eternity because of the contrast between last year’s and this year’s.

*grins* I love it. Guess which one is my favourite.