Vanity Fair magazine did a shoot with 31 players who are in the U.S. Open. There’s a quite a nice variety of players: number one seed Caroline Wozniacki, qualifier cutie Ryan Harrison, wheelchair-player Esther Vergeer, twitter favourite Andrea Petkovic, the boring as ever Bryan Brothers, amongst others. You can check out the whole thing here.

Now we have finished the serious part of the post, let’s play a game.

One of these players is photogenic. The other is not. Guess who.

(Suggestion thanks to Kirilicious)

Novak doing ‘Gipsy’. Did something else happen today? I was distracted by how much I suddenly want to bang Shakira.

Oh, yeah, that. Tough times.

Twilight star Robert Pattinson told Details magazine he’s allergic to vaginas. “How original” you may think. Well, you couldn’t be more mistaken, sir. Like in every other thing in the whole wide universe, tennis players have done it before. I’d like to enlighten this dusty blog with some vintage top notch journalism. Here, let me dazzle you with an Ana Ivanovic interview for British newspaper The Guardian.

Q: Are women attracted to you?

A: Oh my God, I’ve had a few uncomfortable experiences but I’m so allergic to that. I just can’t… even now when I see my friends and they just want to kiss the cheek. I prefer men.

Serious journalism. You find it at Fierce Tennis. ©

And “news”:

• Andy Roddick‘s wife Brookly Decker in a suit for Elle Magazine. Oh, oh-kay.
• Rafa Nadal om nom nom. I have a feeling he’ll be stripping more to tone down the ridiculousness of his outfit.
• Doesn’t Aga Radwanska clean up nicely? Gracing the cover of magazines and rocking some great hair.
• Ana‘s blogging from Melbourne.
• The Guardian‘s “Australian Open Day 1 in Pictures“.

28-year-old? Amazing how fast time goes by when you’re having fun.

Ana in the Sunshine Coast park in Australia. Holy shit that’s cute. I WANT MY OWN GIANT SEAL.

(picture via GloboEsporte)

x

To get this?

x

I don’t get it. Why do the pretty girls need to be such headcases? So much frakkin’ talent and yet so brainless. Anyway.

Maria Kirilenko, congrulations on finally getting another third round at a slam. Next time, let’s make into the second week, yeah?

Victoria Azarenka, you’re an idiot. Please get your shit together and end this slump.

Oh yes, all the credit to Na Li and Fran. As Ana would say, the way you look doesn’t help you win points on a tennis court. But sometimes, you sure wish it did. I’m sure Ana would agree with me.

For those that don’t know me, I love to hate Sharapova. She’s my personal punching bag I use to mock: awkward running, lolzy net skills, doubtful fashion taste, doubtful sexual orientation. It’s all good hearted and, well, fun. So for her to win the “Best Outfit of the US Open Award”, it’s a great achievement. Gurl probably knows winning Wimbledon at 17 is nothing comparing to my fashion approval. Let’s see the outfit then, yeah?

First, the chavvy part in me thinks this would look even more badass if it was in black+gold. But as pointed out by loltennis, I’m sure Nike has rules where it states that only The Monogram can wear gold. I feel your pain, Masha. But still, the silver headband is GAWJUZ. It’s a nice improvement to see her wearing a tight dress — let’s not forget her last outfit was the spiderwoman‘s and it made her hips look huge. You know it’s a NIKE FASHION FAIL when you’ve made a 6’2″ skinny woman look fat. Part of me is interested to see how the day dress looks… the other part just wants her to lose in the next round so she doesn’t play Lena. Oh, mixed feelings, how I love thee.

From yesterday’s biggest upset, Ana Ivanovic‘s pretty purple dress:

As much as I was loudly cheering for the Baby Bondarenko, shame we won’t get to see the day version of the ensemble. It was pretty.

And the most expected fashion happening in tennis this year (for me), Caro Wozniacki in Stella McCartney.

One word: disappointment. It just looks like a less colourful, less detailed version of number two here with some extra ruffs. I think it’s time for Adidas to start considering some other designers for their high fashion collection. If you guys could pick, who would it be? I’d want Karl Lagerfeld.

The other it looks like you belong to the circus.

Oh Ana, we weep for you.

Oh, the lolz. As a big fan of gossip of any kind, I have no shame in admitting I love sleazy tabloids. And The Sun‘s coverage of Wimbledon? Does not fail at making me laugh. Click above to see a slideshow of all the “babes” that have already lost (their excuse for no Lena, I s’pose?). Its only mistake is having fifty pictures of Maria and Ana and none of Sorana Banana. And is Sabine considered hot by men? Really? Weird.

But now, if you want to roll on the floor laughing, take a look at The Sun‘s Top 10 Tennis babes. I’ll give you a couple of teasers:
#10 Anne Keothavong (because if there isn’t a British, then it isn’t The Sun!)
#09 Marion Bartoli (LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL forever)

Kids, don’t listen to that. And don’t read (part of) the lyrics below either.

You’re the worst sex I’ve ever had
It was so fucking bad
You couldn’t ever find my clit
Even if I drew a map to it

Gotta appreciate my taste in pop music.

P.S. I love when you guys promote my blog. Makes me feel speshful.