Let’s talk about what really matters in tennis: Rafa’s outfits

August 12th, 2010 • 2 comments holy rafa, tennis players are fashionists too

The most discussed topic today in tennis blogs seems to be our two most popular ballers wearing pink. One is looking gorgeous, the other looks like the last ice cream on earth you’d like to lick. What? Partiality? I don’t know what you’re talking about.

I decided to comply a list of my Top 5 Outfits Wore By Rafa Nadal. Because 1) I like clothes, 2) I like Rafa, and 3) I like lists.

HONOURABLE MENTION:

Day Matches Bubblegum Rafa, Australian Open 2009

5.

White Wings, U.S. Open 2008

4.

Blue/Yellow Combo, U.S. Open Series 2009

3.

Green and Blue Mosaic, Roland Garros 2010

2.

Pink Polo of Doom, Roland Garros 2009

1.

I’m sorry, was I talking about something?

Moral of the story: the brighter my lil’ own personal version of Sunshine shines, the happier I get. */creep*

Can you please spell Gabbana?

August 4th, 2010 • 4 comments demented, tennis players are fashionists too

I’m not used to posting ridiculous photoshoots here. Because, let’s face it, tennis players are athletes and, like most athletes, every time they do a fashion photoshoot, it ends up being the most ridiculous, absurd, hilarious, over-the-top pictures ever. Also: I don’t want to have a weekly JJ column. But this Elena Dementieva shoot…. this Elena Dementieva shoot…. I have no words, really. You know how they say a picture says a thousand a words? I have a feeling these say three millions each and they go like this: ‘LOL LOL LOL LOL (…)’

If I were to comment, I wouldn’t even know where to start. The ‘hair’? The ‘special effects’? The ‘outfits’? Really, I wouldn’t even know how to ‘write’ without putting every single ‘word’ in quotation marks. Are you guys familiar with Girls Aloud‘s No Good Advice music video? Well, they are (/were) a very good girlband and that video is one of their earliest works. When they made that video, they knew nothing about fashion (or common sense, apparently) and their costume designer told them silver was going to be really trendy. It makes me wonder, what did they tell Lena in the shoot? ‘Oh, you know, this what Lady Gaga is all about!’, ‘Big Hair makes you appear really talented — just look at Amy Winehouse‘, ‘Jelena Jankovic would never go for this’ etc?

Poor  Lena fans. Like we don’t go through enough pain thanks to her as it is.

(Never before has my tag for Lena been so appropriate.)

In Stella We Trust

July 17th, 2010 • 1 comment caro the danish cutie, tennis players are fashionists too

It took Stella a while.

There were missteps, there were ‘oh gosh, you have seen who you’re designing to, right???’ moments, there was incredibility that Caro was still wearing the same dress — but, it seems like it has finally worked. Stella McCartney has designed a proper outfit for Caroline Wozniacki.

Caro’s US Open outfits were posted on WTA Tennis Blog. From what it looks like, she will have two different dresses: one for her day matches and one for the night sessions.

I’ll have to wait to see proper pictures of Caro wearing the dress but up until this point I’m loving it. I like how they are fancier than the regular Stella stuff she has been wearing and yet it doesn’t approach the Sharapova 2006 US Open sequin disaster. There are other clear signs of improvement, like the waist. This dress will be much fitting to Caro‘s body — it will accentuate her curves instead of making her look like a balloon in a skirt. We’re not all Maria Kirilenkos.

Basically: Stella, this is your chance to show the tennis world why you’re one of my favourite designers. Get on it.

Let’s play a guessing game

March 17th, 2010 • 2 comments beth mattek the official wta fashionist, roger failderer, tennis players are fashionists too

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Amazing.

Your Vika pic of the day

November 2nd, 2009 • 4 comments tennis players are fashionists too, vika azarenka

What. On. Earth. Is. That?

Cute though. Her mom, her gay and some “OH GOD MY EYES MY EYES” outfit.

Ay caramba.

October 14th, 2009 • 3 comments holy rafa, james blake, tennis players are fashionists too

I think of all times I’ve made of fun Rafa‘s outfits, this one is the most deserving. He participated in this fan event in Shanghai before his win over Blake (three sets, if you care). Went there, said a few words, made a few kids happy and wore a t-shirt that said “Nadal” in pink.

A t-shirt. With his name on it. In pink. (I actually like the plaid shorts.)

I’m not saying that I don’t like the tee, I do. I’d even buy it and proudly wear it as the Rafatard I am. But he wearing the shirt? It’s like the same level of monogram ridiculousness. Except it’s Rafa, so he was probably all “Free t-shirt! Cool! It even has my name on it! Me gusta mucho”. Bless that kid.

Can “Suck It” become WTA’s new slogan?

October 8th, 2009 • 1 comment nadia petrova, tennis players are fashionists too, williamses

Serena spent the bigger part of the season snarking about the number one position. “She can have it”, “I have the Slams” and such.  Now, what happens when she finally claims the top of the rankings? She falls to Nadia 6-4 3-6 7-6(5).

Oh, WTA, is Karma really that complicated to comprehend?

P.S.

Dear Nadia,

Sweetie, your dress is too short, keep in mind tights are not pants.

Love,

Fierce Tennis.

Sunshine is back — in green

October 7th, 2009 • 1 comment holy rafa, tennis players are fashionists too

Rafa‘s new green outfit has been criticized left and right by the tennis fans fangirls. So I thought I’d help the Spaniard regain the love from his oversexualized female fans. Here, Rafa, two options to fix your ensemble.

Number one option:

Add a bit of yellow and make the outfit a way to show your support for the Rio 2016 Olympics.

Number two option:

.

Strip.

But it’s okay, ladies, the V is for Victory jacket is looking goooood.

Glow in the dark stick

September 6th, 2009 • maria shutupova, tennis players are fashionists too, the radwanskas, vika azarenka

If we forget the actual tennis for a second, we can focus on the really important stuff: Sharapova‘s day dress.

First, according to TheDailyForehand twitter (I have no desire in fact checking that), the “last time Sharapova debuted a new daytime dress in the 3rd round after night matches in a different outfit, she lost to Radwanska“. Amusing.

Now, let’s talk about the outfit. It’s explained why Sharapova had shoes that didn’t match her silver night dress at all. They were for this lovely ensemble. The bright yellow detail on her white shoes matched… the stripes on her dress… that also matched… the contour of the visor… that also matched the… wait for it… TENNIS BALL. Why yes, I do love it, how can you tell? I just have a couple of questions about the outfit:

1. Does it glow in the dark?
2. Can I get a “tennis ball” yellow headband with that?

And it’s possible the “Headband Curse” that is going on has the opposite effect on Sharapova. Ever since Vika started wearing the HoS (Headband of Sex), her slump started. But when Sharapova plays without one, she loses. Coincidence? I think not. Discuss.

On the next FierceTennis post, I’ll teach you guys how to make your own Sharapova U.S. Open 2009 day outfit. All you’ll need is a Wimbledon dress, a pink and a yellow highlighter.

Stay tuned.

Hoodies = Badassery

September 3rd, 2009 • 2 comments holy rafa, maria shutupova, tennis players are fashionists too

From Hypebeast:

Seven of Nike’s most exciting athletes, including Maria Sharapova, Sofia Boutella, Alexandre Pato, Rafael Nadal, Manny Pacquiao, Kobe Bryant and LeBron James bring a fresh new look to fans in a photographic series created to showcase the “AW77” hoodie on October 1st. The photography, created in partnership with the creative team of David Sims and Karl Templer presents Nike Sportswear’s in it’s true essence: off-court and on athletes.

Pictures from the hot Spaniard during the photoshoot from Slamxhype.

And the outcome + silver headband girl being a thug/gansta/playa/tomboy.

Sharapova’s making of pics can be found here. I lol’d.