Exhibitions that are so EPIC that might as well be called tournaments

December 28th, 2009 • 3 comments baby feds, bb safina, dima tursunov, holy rafa, jo tsonga, kolya, nadia petrova, roger failderer, sodermort, the russian sexgod

It’s almost over. Soon we’ll be back to our normal state and not have the need to have this picture as our mobiles’ wallpapers: THE 2010 SEASON IS UPON US.

*cue to instrumental music*

We’re now getting ready for the EPIC exhibitions coming up. In Abu Dhabi, we have this amazingly strong field + Wawrinka.

Play begins on the 31st and this is how the three days will exhibition work.

If you ask me, I’d say they should give Byes to the semifinals in all tournaments Rafa plays. Ahem.

But the exhibition I’m really, really excited to is, the one and only, Hopman Cup.

*cue to even more instrumental music*

Hopman Cup always brings the hilarity to tennis courts. This year, we had the super siblings Safins getting all the way to the final and being hilarious while doing so:

In 2007, we had, well, Dmitry Tursunov.

This year, here’s the full list of the teams:

So excuse me if I have high expectations of Team Russia this year. I’m hoping Igor will shown a bit of personality on court. Maybe he’ll deserve his own title instead of “Kiri‘s boyfriend”. But, hell, aren’t the teams just AWESOME this year? Let’s put aside the EPICNESS that is Russia for a second here and focus on the others. Sabine + Kolschi? Baby Pusher + Ace boy? Dream Australian Team? Sorana Banana + Romanian dude? LAURA ROBSON + ANDY MURRAY? Why yes, I am excited.

How about a HOPMAN CUP POLL? Fun y/y?

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More Marat

November 11th, 2009 • the russian sexgod

Oh, please, like you guys are going to complain.

Russian website Championat has this quite awesome gallery of Marat. There are pictures of him with trophies, with former president Boris Yeltsin and even some funny ones. (Oh, he’s just being Marat!) Fifty pictures at all. Quite a sight. Click on the picture below to see them.

And here, via DownTheLine,  you can see the tribute to Marat from today at Bercy:

In advance, have some:

So long and thank you for all the tennis

November 11th, 2009 • 1 comment delpo, gillou, spice girls, the russian sexgod, tommy robredo

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t heartbroken.

This past season and half, I’ve hardly been a Marat fan. I did try but it would normally end in heartbreak. At most times, Marat would lose without even trying. Since he announced his retirement, he played all matches this year like he couldn’t actually give a fuck if he won or not. In press conferences, he would whine like a big baby and talk about how boring it was to be a tennis player. I certainly wasn’t going to be the one that cared.

His tournament in Paris was his last. This is the most special Masters (or ATP 1000, whatever) for Marat. He won three times there. In Paris, with his last strokes as professional tennis player, he cared. In the first round, he saved match points and clutched a tight victory. Today, he fought hard again. He wanted to win. He saved break points in the second to take the match to a final set. He managed to save match points but, this time, it only made the result be postponed for a bit. He lost to Delpo but he sure as hell went down fighting.

I don’t believe even the most delusional fan had hopes to see him take the title. I think it was a quite proud defeat. It wasn’t embarrassing as I had expected.

After the match, there was a ceremony on court. Marat got an award. A bunch of players (pictured above) went to honor him. A video of his best moments on tour was showed on the big screen. It was pretty sweet. You could see he was getting emotional but Marat is too much of a SexGod to tear up.

Marat was easily my favourite ATP player when growing up. I was 10 when he won the U.S. Open and I had the biggest crush on him. At 14, when he won the Australian Open, I still intended on marrying him. We’d live in a house in Moscow, mock The Da Vinci Code and watch David Lynch films in bed. It was a mighty life plan, let me add that.

I hope he now does whatever pleases him the most. Which I’m sure will involve wooing attractive blonde girls like he so loves. He can run for president, form a boyband, cure cancer, conquer the world. Oh, Marat, I’ll still marry you if you so insist.

I’ll leave you guys with a bit of vintage!Marat. Here’s the Russian in the Late Show With David Letterman in 2000. This was after he won over Sampras his first Slam. You can tell he was a rockstar even then.

Farewell, babe. ♥

FIERCE TENNIS DOES MACRO

November 11th, 2009 • 1 comment delpo, holy rafa, the russian sexgod

MARAT RETIRED FOR GOOD! RAFA GAVE ME A HEART ATTACK! DELPO IS GAY!

I need a few minutes to calm down, kthx.

This shouldn’t make me laugh….

October 27th, 2009 • 1 comment the russian sexgod

But it totally does.

(via Tennis Served Fresh)

Marat defeats top seed player = sign of Armageddon?

October 21st, 2009 • 1 comment kolya, the russian sexgod

The shock of the day: Marat Safin came back from losing a match and won it. Different from all his über chokes this year, he actually closed it up breaking the opponent’s serve. Like, he actually won the match. Won, as in w-i-n-n-i-n-g. 4-6, 6-4, 6-2, yup, a victory. And it wasn’t any opponent. No, Sir. It was his countryman, top seed Nikolay Davydenko, that had just won a Masters 1000 the previous week. Colour me surprised!

And he still looks ridiculously good. *happy sigh*

(p.s. let’s ignore the fact Kolya played like shit, shall we?)

Tennis Players — Enhancing the cuteness of sports since, well, a very long time

October 9th, 2009 • 1 comment holy rafa, nole jokevic, the radwanskas, the russian sexgod

From today’s pressers pictures.

NOM NOM NOM yummy water is yummy. *gulps* (I like your hair like this, Aga)

Very yummy water indeed.

*dies a little*

*completely dies*

Rafa is not amused.

Milan? Really? Well, okay, Nole

Bromance

October 9th, 2009 • baby mario, holy rafa, the russian sexgod

Smiles! Sunshine! Hot dudes! Boytouching!

Does this post have any purpose? Does it really matter?

Oh boys, just go get gay married in Spain already. No one likes your slutty girlfriend anyway, Marat.

(P.S. Rafa defeated Marat 6-3 6-1. He will play Marin Cillic in the semis.)

I’m your biggest fan, I’ll follow ’til you love me

October 8th, 2009 • 1 comment holy rafa, the russian sexgod

Of course due to timezones I can’t really watch the tennis. But, tournaments in Asia have this great advantage most tourneys don’t: Pictures. So. Many. Effing. Pictures. In most countries, you’re lucky if there are five pictures or your favourite player in their first round match. In Asia? There are like 50. Fans appreciate it. Two thumbs up for you guys.

Moving on.

Rafa today (yesterday? this is confusing) defeated Blake 7-5 in the third after wasting three MPs on the second set. He will now play…. wait for it….. Marat Safin for a semifinal spot. Can you hear that sound? It’s the sound of girls and gay guys squealing and flaining. Dear goodness, it’s too high pitched for my ears.

Pop music and breast implants

August 19th, 2009 • 1 comment nastya myskina, the russian sexgod, wags

Yesterday, to the dismay of all tennis fangirls around the world, DTL reported that Maratski is getting married. According to rumors, the Russian SEXGOD will tie the knot with his fancy blowup doll girlfriend, Nastya Osipova, of pop group Blestyashchie. Now, when I read that, the band’s name immediately rang a bell. And, shockingly enough, I’m not particularly familiar with Slavic girlbands, no. So where did I know this amazing piece of Eastern European music from?

Well, remember this?

This being when former Roland Garros champion, Anastasia Myskina, was caught* lip-locking with a woman with huge fake breasts? Well, that woman was Anna Semenovich. Who, according to Wiki, is a retired competitive ice dancer, singer, actress, model and, of course, former member of Blestyashchie. After some very entertaining research, I found out that Marat’s girlfriend joined that band to replace Nastya’s, uh, friend.

Awesome, right? These two grew together, played Hopman Cup together and are now are sleeping their way through some trashy girlband together. Just when you think the Russians couldn’t entertain me more… they do that. And just to help the girls (and boys) mourn, have some hot pictures of Maratski:

*by caught, I mean when she basically just turned to the cameras and said “Hey, look how I’m such a rockstar and make out with chicks”