My picks for Roland Garros

May 25th, 2013 • Jo-Wilfried Tsonga, Juan Monaco, Kei Nishikori, Novak Djokovic, Rafael Nadal, Roger Federer, Roland Garros, Tommy Haas

Men’s title: Juan Monaco. He’s just won a title. On clay. I think that seals the business. And look at his damn beautiful smile. You can almost see the Coupe des Mousquetaires in his strong, but tender, hands. If Pico surprisingly doesn’t win, I’ll go for the upset: Novak Djokovic. Rafa‘s mental block verus Novak never goes away and I can’t see a semifinal in Paris going the Spaniard‘s way. Even if Novak is indeed missing a foot.

I think the greatest question here is: if Federer pulls a Federer and loses to a Nishikori, what random player will we have playing the final? Tomas Berdych and Jo-Wilfried Tsonga are both on his side of the draw. Make your bets.

Women’s title: Pack your things, we all might head to South West London already. Serena‘s got this faster than you can say “I’ll have a double whopper with fries” in French.

P.S. I know you didn’t ask, but I had a stellar time during that manip.

WAGs > tennis players, obvs

July 1st, 2009 • 8 comments Andy Murray, Andy Roddick, Maria Sharapova, Roger Federer, Tommy Haas, WAGs

C’MON, MANDY!!!!! WIN THIS THING!!!!!!

Moving on.

Roddick‘s wife, the “model”, Brookly Decker… teasing the photographers? Because, honestly, I can’t think of anything sexier than a piece of paper. Nom nom nom. And I remember looking for that cap in every single Lacoste store in Paris when that thing came out and they only had in men’s size. So either they released smaller model now or she has a very a big head. *insert 5645 dirty jokes involving the word head + her “modelling” career here* Yes, I am a terrible person. No wonder people search those awful things and it leads them to my blog.

Sara Foster, sweetie, you’re not that famous. Why are you hiding? Was today’s “pretend you’re goth” day? No? Then the answer is GET A BETTER OUTFIT. You have to dress better or the title of my favourite WAG will go to Mirka or something. Oh lol, I kid, I kid. I could never trade you for Miroslava. Maybe for Kim Sears, but certainly not for Mirka! :D

And just because I’m sure everyone misses the best WAG that has ever been — Camilla Belle, I must post a pic to remember the good times.

Bonus: a picture of the happy couple at its prime* before Camilla moved onto the ATP/prepubescent Disney boys.

*Must not make Muff Muncher jokes. Must not make Muff Muncher jokes. Must not make Muff Muncher jokes. Oh damn.

Watching tennis is cool. Srsly. Even celebrities do it.

June 28th, 2009 • 6 comments Andy Roddick, Laura Robson, Rockstars, Tommy Haas

Popstar Justin Timberlake watching Roddick on Saturday. I think it’s hilarious that he’s pumping his fist. Do you guys pump your first when watching tennis? Idk about you but that sounds like a completely dorky thing to do. I would like to think I’m ~*cooler*~ than that. Yes, I think I’m cooler than JT. Do you have a problem with it? No? Good, ok, thanks.

And adorable!Laura Robson moment of the day, Laura squees and fangirls about how she met Justin and Enrique Iglesias. I don’t know if this is just me, but if was a 15-year-old British girl, I would squee if I met Cheryl Cole. Actually, I’d squee if I met Cheryl Cole nowadays too. And I’m not even British.

Now, my favourite Wimby celebrity sighting so far (and will probably continue being my favourite unless the Skins cast decides to go watch some tennis) is Sara Foster. Seriously, Tommy, thanks for dating/being engaged to her. I think it’s highly entertaining to see her pouting, screaming, playing with her bubblegum, taking a nap, pointing to her blackberry and such during matches.