Why I’m actually nice and people shouldn’t hate me: an essay by Victoria Azarenka

August 2nd, 2010 • 4 comments i'm sure i don't do this blogging thing quite right, vika azarenka

Winners and losers

August 1st, 2010 • 4 comments lena v. always brings the lolz, vika azarenka

Each passing year, I believe more and more that some players have it and some don’t. What’s it? It is what makes some turn into champions and others not. ‘How can you not believe it? It’s right there’, you might say. But the thing is, I have a problem believing talented players such as Elena Dementieva and Andy Murray might not have what it takes, or not have enough, to win a major. Surely they’re both superior players than Francesca Schiavone or Juan Carlos Ferrero — to name a few. But maybe they aren’t, after all, those two are both Roland Garros champions.

Not that Istanbul is the 5th Slam or anything, but, today, Elena Vesnina played her third WTA final there.  Today was also her birthday — she turned 24. One third of those years were spent on the pro tour. I’m a fan but I’m surely not deranged enough to expect Lena V. to win a major. (Not that I wouldn’t go around buying people drinks if that happened though.) If you have ever seen her play, you know she has a good game. Last year, she reached the #22 position in the rankings and she definitely has top 15 potential. I don’t need to go around naming all other players that have won WTA titles that are, technically, worse at tennis than Lena V. But I’m sure you can think of a few.

The bottom line of this (useless) story is that today Lena V. was two games away from her first title. She was leading Pavlyuchenkova a set and 4-0 up. But, she lost, 6-4 in the decider, after over 3 hours and 10 minutes of match. Not wanting to spoil anything, but the story ends with a sobbing Russian. You can guess which one.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the world, Lena V.‘s friend, Victoria Azarenka, also played a final. As you probably already know (from around the web or from my overexcited celebratory tweets), Vika won Stanford. Whatever it is, I’d say Vika has it. The only tough match she had on the tournament was against Bartoli — where she had to come back from a set and a break down. On the semis, she crushed Sam Stosur. On the final, she crushed Maria Sharapova. I don’t know what’s the winning characteristic that it possesses but it’s what makes us believe that, no matter the score, Serena Williams or Rafa Nadal are going to find a way to reach victory.

I don’t think it’s as simple as saying some players can focus and have a lot of fighting spirit while others are chokers. The greatest tennis champion of all time, Roger Federer, has choked quite a few ridiculous leads. The forever a bridesmaid Elena Dementieva has had some spectacular comebacks. It’s something more, I’d say.

And, since we were talking about Andy Murray: he lost today after having a match point on the second set. Don’t worry, though. In Mandy, we trust. Am I right?

(You know, tomorrow I’m going to write an essay called ‘Victoria Azarenka: why she’s the most misunderstood player of our generation and how she’s actually a sweetheart’. Maybe I’ll get a few people that aren’t related to her to read it. Who knows.)

Hatastic!

July 27th, 2010 • vika azarenka

Some people like stamps. Others like books, cinema or sports. I like pictures of Victoria Azarenka wearing hats.

More pictures of her, proving I’m not the only one who loves outfits that are so bright they make your eyes hurt, at the Nike ID store here and here. You’re welcome.

Sluts!

July 26th, 2010 • 2 comments kuzzy, magdalena rybarikova, vika azarenka

Since there’s no stream for the Most Epic Doubles Ever (aka Team Vikiri versus Wicky + some other lady), I’m watching some ridiculous videos online. I was browsing through ESPNStar‘s tennis database and, let me tell you, that’s a lot of ridiculousness.

I’m going to highlight my favourites, but really, you should watch all interviews. The number of stupid questions asked are…. quite high.

They ask Sveta who her favourite label is. Just…… look at what she’s wearing. Girl wouldn’t recognise fashion even if it punched her on the stomach and spitted on her face. A bit harsh? Sorry. Hey, at least she says Balenciaga. You’ll understand how special that is after hearing ‘Dolce & Gabbana‘ a million times. I’m shocked no one said Louis Vuitton. You can tell the players love the monogram. (ED NOTE: This isn’t a Federer joke.)

Magdalena Rybarikova: my new personal favourite. They ask who, in the whole world, she would like to go on a date with. She says David Beckham and some tennis players. What tennis players? Rafael Nadal. What would she wear on a date with Nadal? Something sexy and short.

Now Laura Robson starts to make sense.

This one isn’t funny. Or original. Or slutty. But butchy!dimple-attack!Vika makes me happy. Carry on, readers, carry on.

Daniela Hantuchova: the life ruiner

July 25th, 2010 • 1 comment danka, kiri is 2 hot 4 u, maria shutupova, tati golovin, vika azarenka, yanina wickmayer

She ruins people’s lives!!!!

You know, I’m sure Daniela is a very nice girl. In fact, I’ve heard from from a friend who has interviewed her that she’s a doll. Polite, calm girl. So I ask myself, what is such a nice girl doing ruining people’s lives? Why must she cockblock all epic duos in life? And, most importantly, why does she hate me?

It all started a while ago with the Sports Illustrated shoot with Maria Kirilenko, Tatiana Golovin and The Life Ruiner. I was pretty excited about this line-up. I love Kiri. I love Tati. They both make me laugh when trying to be hot. They make me go ‘LOLLL THIS SPORT U GUISE ♥’ and I like going ‘LOLLL THIS SPORT U GUISE ♥’. I was expecting a picture of them together.

But I got this.

Here, let me show you where it all went wrong:

But I got over that. You know, I’m sure she wasn’t like ‘Hey, let me stand between Kiri and Tati and ruin all possible Russian lolz that could happen to make Fierce Tennis miserable’. Like, she wasn’t, was she?

Time passed. There were other Russian lolz to care about. It was announced, in Stanford, that Sharapova would play doubles with Wicky. That was one big Russian lolz. I was excited. I posted about it. But then Wicky tweeted that Wickypova wouldn’t happen. My heart was broken. What was I supposed to do with my life?

Today the Stanford doubles draw came out. Why should I care? There was no Team Angry Giants. But then something caught my attention, and by something I mean people going ‘OMG!!!!!!!!’ on my Ttwitter timeline. Fierce Tennis‘ official girlcrush, Victoria Azarenka, would play doubles with Kiri. Finally! Another doubles team I could support. And who did they drew on the first round? Wicky (!!!!!) and….. Daniela Hantuchova.

I don’t think I need to get into how epic it would have been Wickypova playing against Vika/Kiri. I’m sure you’ll be able to tell by the amount of weeping I’ve done. Hint: A LOT. Daniela Hantuchova, you’re playing with fire here. Ask Federer how it feels to be on my shit list. Awful, I’ll bet he says. My sources tell him he cries himself to sleep every night because of it. Yeah, girl, I can be a bully.

An announcement

June 11th, 2010 • vika azarenka

I just stopped by to inform you readers that Vika and I are no longer an item.

We’re all saddened by this loss, etc.

P-p-paparazzi

June 2nd, 2010 • bb safina, vika azarenka

There’s an interesting story on Vika‘s recent slump and, additionally , on the journalist/player relation over at TENNIS.com. My favourite part isn’t anything Vika-related, but regards Dina:

Walking towards the transport area, Azarenka runs into Dinara Safina, and the interview is temporarily put on hold again as the two greet each other enthusiastically. Safina’s face, all smiles, freezes at the sight of a reporter with such horror that it’s hard not to feel sorry for her.

My heart was a bit crushed at the fact Dina is that scared of a journalist. She’s easily one of the players the press has given the hardest time recently. You don’t need to go back much to remember the whole ‘Number One Without a Slam’ fiasco. I think if I were to interview her after a loss, I’d be all ‘Awww, here, Dina. I brought you some chocolate cake! Now gimme a big hug!’. Perhaps slightly inappropriate, but isn’t the thought what matters?

Love is in the air

January 5th, 2010 • 2 comments caro the danish cutie, vika azarenka

I JUST WANT THEM TO GET GAY MARRIED ALREADY.

A super cute girl with a polish name — The song (yes, you heard that right, THE SONG)

December 26th, 2009 • 5 comments caro the danish cutie, vika azarenka

First, I’d like to thank playalovegame for pointing this out and making my life a bit brighter. Second, I’d like to ask if Caro is putting something on the water of her fans. After Woz Woz (I can’t even type that without laughing), we now have Super Cute Girl With A Polish Name.

her backhand’s as sweet as orange sorbet
i sure hope she’s a little gay (even .1% will do)
she’s a super cute girl with a polish name

Omg so catchy.

To please the video maker and me (Hello excuse to post a picture of rockstar Vika! ♥):

.1%, right?

ETA:

You, sir, speak the truth.

Let’s discuss rockstars

December 22nd, 2009 • caro the danish cutie, david ferrer, spice girls, tommy robredo, vika azarenka

(or my WTA babies)

Yesterday, we had an exhibition in Kiev, Ukraine with quite a few stars: Victoria Azarenka, Caroline Wozniacki, Anna Kournikova, David Ferrer and Tommy Robredo. This exhibition was also a valid opportunity for me to go “HEEEE VIKA AND CARO ILU BABIES GO CONQUER THE TOUR” except more calmly. A lot more calmly,  I promise.

They played a set, in which Caro won 7-5. I’m sure Caro pushed the balls and Vika hit them as hard as she could.

They made out after the match because Vika found out she was going get some shiny present for Christmas. Not a puppy though. Maybe an engagement ring?

After the singles match, Vika parterned up with Tommy to play against fucking rockstar, Anna Kournikova and David Ferrer.

Vika/Tommy defeated Anna K./Ferru 6-3. Anna K. wasn’t as amused as Vika by the outcome.

BONUS: Victoria Azarenka thinks ridiculous hats are fashionable. Bless that lil’ chavtastic Belarussian.