Archive for yanina wickmayer
Daniela Hantuchova: the life ruiner
July 25th, 2010 • 1 comment danka, kiri is 2 hot 4 u, maria shutupova, tati golovin, vika azarenka, yanina wickmayer
She ruins people’s lives!!!!
You know, I’m sure Daniela is a very nice girl. In fact, I’ve heard from from a friend who has interviewed her that she’s a doll. Polite, calm girl. So I ask myself, what is such a nice girl doing ruining people’s lives? Why must she cockblock all epic duos in life? And, most importantly, why does she hate me?
It all started a while ago with the Sports Illustrated shoot with Maria Kirilenko, Tatiana Golovin and The Life Ruiner. I was pretty excited about this line-up. I love Kiri. I love Tati. They both make me laugh when trying to be hot. They make me go ‘LOLLL THIS SPORT U GUISE ♥’ and I like going ‘LOLLL THIS SPORT U GUISE ♥’. I was expecting a picture of them together.
But I got this.
Here, let me show you where it all went wrong:
But I got over that. You know, I’m sure she wasn’t like ‘Hey, let me stand between Kiri and Tati and ruin all possible Russian lolz that could happen to make Fierce Tennis miserable’. Like, she wasn’t, was she?
Time passed. There were other Russian lolz to care about. It was announced, in Stanford, that Sharapova would play doubles with Wicky. That was one big Russian lolz. I was excited. I posted about it. But then Wicky tweeted that Wickypova wouldn’t happen. My heart was broken. What was I supposed to do with my life?
Today the Stanford doubles draw came out. Why should I care? There was no Team Angry Giants. But then something caught my attention, and by something I mean people going ‘OMG!!!!!!!!’ on my Ttwitter timeline. Fierce Tennis‘ official girlcrush, Victoria Azarenka, would play doubles with Kiri. Finally! Another doubles team I could support. And who did they drew on the first round? Wicky (!!!!!) and….. Daniela Hantuchova.
I don’t think I need to get into how epic it would have been Wickypova playing against Vika/Kiri. I’m sure you’ll be able to tell by the amount of weeping I’ve done. Hint: A LOT. Daniela Hantuchova, you’re playing with fire here. Ask Federer how it feels to be on my shit list. Awful, I’ll bet he says. My sources tell him he cries himself to sleep every night because of it. Yeah, girl, I can be a bully.
A bucket of happiness, sunshine, kittens and my bbs winning: the post
May 28th, 2010 • demented, holy rafa, kiri is 2 hot 4 u, sam stosur, yanina wickmayer
Excuse me for a moment — I’m going to act even more biased than I do normally. Because:
ALL THESE LADIES WON. AND IT WAS EPIC.
And, damn, you guys, the matches were all hard (Sam‘s not so much, but for a moment there, when she lost the 1st, I was scared) — all three-setters.
Lena played some spectacular shit tennis and had to come down from a set down and then from a break drown on the 3rd set to defeat CanWoz. When Kiri started serving for the match, we got suicidal but then she ended up snagging the 3rd set 6-4. And Wicky, well, they didn’t have a stream for Wicky but I imagine if it took her 32 games to defeat mommy!Bammer, then it mustn’t have been pretty. Still, a win is a win.
But that wasn’t all. We had BONUS WINNERS. Caro pushed push baby Dulgheru and Rrrrrrrafa, well, Rafa was Rafa. We still have Russian BBs Pavs and Pivs (who came from qualies to upset Australian Open semifinalist Zheng) alive in the third round. Let’s enjoy this little piece of sunshine and happiness upon us — goodness knows it will be squashed by JJ or the Williams soon.
Pretty boy fyt:
Delish.
Because I tend to forget to post stuff here and I’m very sorry for that…
December 22nd, 2009 • yanina wickmayer
ITF lifted the ban on both Wickmayer and Malisse. This means she can play next year. We’re closing our eyes to the ‘Twilight’ thing. Love is blind, isn’t it?
DEAR AUSTRALIAN OPEN, LET’S GET WICKY A WILDCARD, OK? (AND SINCE YOU’RE AT IT, ONE FOR MOLLIE AND OLIVIA ROGOATSKA TOO)
(v. fitting macro through playalovegame)
Just go frak yourselves, would you?
November 9th, 2009 • 1 comment yanina wickmayer
This is my attempt on writing something on the Wicky incident. (I’ll skip on the Malisse thing, but it’s obvious the same thing)
I’m sure, as everyone here is a tennis fan, has heard that Yanina Wickmayer has been suspended for one year. Sexy Bitch (as we kindly refer to her here on Fierce Tennis) didn’t inform her whereabouts three times to the Flemish Anti-Doping Association.
Why haven’t I posted about this before? I’ve been quite gutted — didn’t want to write about it. I actually like Wicky. Of course I believe a player should suffer some kind of punishment for misinforming their whereabouts. But Wicky only failed to inform them three times in 18 months. She had told her national Anti-Doping she was having problems with her password online. A career threatening ban like that should only be at stake if the system is flawless. Which obviously isn’t the case. A slap on the wrist, a warning, even a fine would be appropriate here.
Wicky found out about the ban in the middle of the night. It was all over in the press before she even knew. She was resting to play for a spot in the Bali semis when she was woken up by a call from her dad telling about what had happened. You can imagine how hysterical a 20-year-old would be upon hearing such news.
It’s also quite absurd when you think about the latest tennis doping scandals that have been on the media:
Gasquet‘s found with cocaine in his blood? Oh, he had just kissed a girl. Two months for him.
Agassi takes crystal meth and speed? Lies to ATP and gets away with it.
Wickmayer doesn’t inform her whereabouts three times? HANG HER A YEAR BAN.
It’s even worse when you think about who‘s doing this to her. Her own country. She will appeal the ban — but this will still make her miss months of the season either way. And after making her first Slam semifinals and having the best year of her career, this can be crushing to her self-esteem. There’s also the fact a ban is a ban and she will forever be known as a player who was caught in anti-doping. Why yes, Belgium, aren’t you simply a peach with your athletes?
Beautiful, Beautiful Bali
November 4th, 2009 • 7 comments aravane rezai, bepa z., sabine sparkles, yanina wickmayer
And the only player in focus is Sabine.
I see what you did there, WTA.
Wicky and the pink snake strangling her are not amused.
Mickey Mouse Masters
November 3rd, 2009 • bepa d., yanina wickmayer
Where sexy bitches the players give each other facials and massages:
Yanina Wickmayer & Vera Dushevina
Draw is here. Tomorrow’s OOP is here. Play starts at 2PM (local time).
Trophy NOM OM OM
October 19th, 2009 • sam stosur, yanina wickmayer
Last week’s ladies champions: Sam Stosur and Yanina Wickmayer. Congrats, girls. Wicky, Fierce Tennis‘ official Sexy Bitch (when Vika isn’t playing), decided to be a good kid and replied to one of my questions.
Unfortunately, it was the most boring one. She ignored the question whether she was going to a nightclub to dance to Akon‘s “Sexy Bitch” if she won the title. :( :( :( I’ll take the silence as a “yes”.
This week’s we have my personal favourite WTA tournament Kremlin Cup on. Watch as I complain daily about how they killed my tourney (*clings*) by moving to the week before the YEC. It’s going to be fun times.
WTA Saturday!
October 16th, 2009 • 1 comment caro the danish cutie, forza!, francesca schiavone, petra kvitova, sam stosur, sania mirza, the radwanskas, yanina wickmayer
Linz Semifinals:
Petra Kvitova x Agnieszka Radwanska
Yanina Wickmayer x Flavia Pennetta
I desperately want a Catwoman-Batwoman final but it’s not like I’m expecting Yanina (aka Batoman aka Sexy Bitch aka Wicky) to defeat Flavia. Oh well.
Tokyo Semifinals:
Francesca Schiavone x Sania Mirza
Caroline Wozniacki x Samantha Stosur
I wish Sam-Caro was the final. Alas, it’s not. So I don’t care who wins the other semifinal as long as Sunshine takes the title. Deal? Alright.
*Flawless.
Honestly, I’m as lost as you guys: WTA, the fetish edition
October 16th, 2009 • 7 comments anna-lena groënefeld, tamira paszek, tatjana malek, the radwanskas, yanina wickmayer
I will post these just for the absolute hilarity they bring. I have no idea where they’re from. But while I found out, let’s not lose precious time to look at Wicky and Aga in costumes. BATWOMAN and CATWOMAN costumes.
I don’t even…. LOLOLOLOLOL. Look at that Sexy Bitch stare from Wicky there. LADIES, NEVER EVER EVER EVER CHANGE. (And Aga looks sort of sexy, no? I love the hair.)
Anna-Lena Groënefeld, a.k.a. Spiderwoman, says MEOW. Or rawr. Or… nothing, like spiders.
Here are the rest with some other players: Barbara Schett, Tamira Paszek, Andrea Petkovic and Tatjana Malek.
Laughing. For-frakkin‘-ever.
Honestly, WTA, and then you come to us complaining why you aren’t taken seriously. Gee, I wonder why. Maybe Batwoman could help me with that answer.
Answer: I have tried and failed several times to keep blogs up. Why? Because I don’t like doing serious journalism unless there’s money showing up in my bank account — and there wasn’t. This blog will have no interest in being impartial or, you know, actually talking about the sport (ok, maybe from time to time). There are tons of other blogs (and news websites) that do this job pretty well already. Here we will discuss the shallow part: the outfits, the gossip, the outrages and who Fernando Verdasco is currently dating.
