Hey dude, where’s your ’24′ jacket?

June 1st, 2010 • roger failderer, sodermort • 1 comment

In case you are the worst tennis fan ever/lives in a bubble, half an hour ago, this happened.

And it was amazing.

I feel this is the way of the Tennis Gods repaying me for the utter disaster that was the Holy Slam in 2009. Being there and having to deal with my baby Rafa‘s loss to the devil incarnated was a quite traumatic experience. But you know what they say: that everyone has a bit of evil in them (Do people say that? Or did I just make that up?). Today, the devil won. AND I LOVED EVERY SINGLE SECOND OF IT.

The match was high-level and competitive. Soderling was bashing the ball like there was no tomorrow, making Federer play defensive. I have a feeling that if the Swiss had gotten more first serves in (I didn’t even check the stats), the match could have gone differently. Soderling was really pouncing on those second serves. Hitting backhand and forehand winners all over the court. In the end, he held tight to those crucial breaks and got the match.  That was some superb tennis from him.

I’d put the devil as the second biggest contender for the title now. It’s funny how he wasn’t even having a good clay season and, yet, he comes to Paris and pulls of the biggest upset once again. Even with the crowd heavily against him (stfu, Frenchies).

Federer’s loss means that if Rafa takes the title, he’ll go back to the number one position. This slam just got a lot more interesting.

TGIF.

May 28th, 2010 • allez bitch is back, maria shutupova • 1 comment

Hello, weekend. I love you, weekend.

Tomorrow’s order of play has potential. Potential being the magical word — means that it can be awesome, but since today the Tennis Gods blessed me, tomorrow they’ll probably kick my ass. Like stealing a child’s candy. The candy being fun tennis and the child being, obviously, me. Let’s take a look, shall we?

The day on Chatrier starts with Serena versus Pavs. It will probably be an easy win for Serena but I’m sure lots of people will have a great time watching how well Pavs hits the ball. SPOILER: She hits it quite well. (Serena ain’t that bad either.)

After that, we have the continuation of the drrrrrama. Rezai and Petrova stopped play tonight at 7 all on the third for lack of light. Both players had to save match points. Bring. It. Or, like the French would nicely put it: BOOOOOOOOO.

Two zzzz-wothy matches after that one: Nole-Hanescu and Rafa-Hewitt (if their last year’s encounter here is anything to go by, at least).

And then, DUN DUN DUN, what will probably be low-quality tennis but, boy, do we want that low-quality tennis: Henin-Sharapova. Henin recently said that her embarrassing defeat to Masha in the AO final in 2008 felt like ages ago. Masha‘s response? ‘Actually, it feels like it was yesterday’. In the same interview, she was critical of the players that celebrate and scream after every point won, even when it was caused by the opponent’s error. Sounds like someone? (Besides herself. And Ana.)  MY SPORT, U GUISE: I love it so.

We also have some other matches on the lesser courts but the only one I’m sort of interested in is Wicky-Hantuchova. I imagine it will go the Slovakian’s way, Wicky is still recuperating from her elbow injury. And, in case you’re wondering how her elbow is doing, she is tired but Wicky is applying ice.

I’m excited. I’ll get popcorn, ice cream and swear at the TV. Be sure to check ze twitter for some live spamming coverage.

P.S. The ATP matches are boring to me, the WTA ones are AWESOME. I’m a box full of surprises, ain’t I.

A bucket of happiness, sunshine, kittens and my bbs winning: the post

May 28th, 2010 • demented, holy rafa, kiri is 2 hot 4 u, sam stosur, yanina wickmayer • No comments

Excuse me for a moment — I’m going to act even more biased than I do normally. Because:

ALL THESE LADIES WON. AND IT WAS EPIC.

And, damn, you guys, the matches were all hard (Sam‘s not so much, but for a moment there, when she lost the 1st, I was scared) — all three-setters.

Lena played some spectacular shit tennis and had to come down from a set down and then from a break drown on the 3rd set to defeat CanWoz. When Kiri started serving for the match, we got suicidal but then she ended up snagging the 3rd set 6-4. And Wicky, well, they didn’t have a stream for Wicky but I imagine if it took her 32 games to defeat mommy!Bammer, then it mustn’t have been pretty. Still, a win is a win.

But that wasn’t all. We had BONUS WINNERS. Caro pushed push baby Dulgheru and Rrrrrrrafa, well, Rafa was Rafa. We still have Russian BBs Pavs and Pivs (who came from qualies to upset Australian Open semifinalist Zheng) alive in the third round. Let’s enjoy this little piece of sunshine and happiness upon us — goodness knows it will be squashed by JJ or the Williams soon.

Pretty boy fyt:

Delish.

Getting down with 3P (Porn, Petkorazzi and, uh…)

May 27th, 2010 • off-topic, petkorazzi • 1 comment

Play starts in eight hours and I should be getting some sleep but I’m too busy laughing at my own blog. My dorkiness — IT KNOWS NO BOUNDS. I was looking at the recent ‘search terms’ that lead people to Fierce Tennis and I started giggling like a maniac. I believe it’s time for another of these posts.

DUN DUN DUN. *cue to dramatic music* (Also, apparently my readers have an obsession with who’s gay and who isn’t? Colour me surprised. Let me get on with it now.)

Just today, some of the search terms were:

• lesbian sex wta tour
• rezai slut
• almagro shirtless (ED NOTE: ew.)
• verdasco lopez baby

A few more from this past week:

• did justine henin have a baby
• tennis player forget her shorts
• vika azarenka cameltoe
• “elena dementieva” and “crotch”
• wobbly legs porn
• myskina naked free
• andy roddick ass
• allez bitch

ALSO: I sense a theme:

• petkorazzi
• petkovic andrea
• andrea petkovic grunt
• andrea petkovic legs
• petkorazzi
• is andrea petkovic a lesbian (ED NOTE: Yes, she is.*)
• andrea petkovic grunt
• andrea petkovic hot

And here, a Petkorazzi picture because that’s obviously the only thing you guys are interested in:

You guys know she choked, right?

I feel like I should be more selective of what I post. Soon Google will mistake my blog for a porn website. A gay porn website.

*Jk.

The rain has brought us dinner

May 27th, 2010 • Uncategorized • No comments

How French. Now all we need is to start raining wine. Imagine that.

Poll: Amazing or amazing?

May 27th, 2010 • nole jokevic, squeaky shoes ivanovic, victor troicki • No comments

Novak doing ‘Gipsy’. Did something else happen today? I was distracted by how much I suddenly want to bang Shakira.

Oh, yeah, that. Tough times.

Today on Roland Garros

May 27th, 2010 • Uncategorized • No comments

Yep, that’s about it.

*blink* NEW FAVE ALERT */blinks*

May 24th, 2010 • petkorazzi • 3 comments

I am not much of a bandwagoner or a person that easily likes a player, but, recently, Jennifer, presented me with the wonders that are Andrea Petkovic. And, seriously, you guys, the wonders.

Why you should love Andrea Petkovic, a list of reasons by Bárbara:

• She calls herself Petkorazzi.
• Her accent.
• Senseless things for senseless people.
• If she was a puppy, there would be pictures of her daily on this tumblr.
  
• She’s funny, like, actually funny.
• She would kick her tennis career for being a rockstar. She even wrote and recorded a song.
  
• She’s a geek. Reads Goethe in German, Sartre in French and studies Political Science.
• She’s not all that bad looking.
• She’s not all that bad of a player.

Summing up: SMITTEN — I AM.

Petkorazzi plays defending champion Sveta on the next round, so sry if there’s any heartbreak to come, guys.

Caro likes shiny pants

May 24th, 2010 • caro the danish cutie, williamses • No comments

Hello, good morning, folks.

Yesterday we had the first day of Roland Garros. Most players I like did that they do best: lost. At least Kiri won her first round match. I consider that a vast improvement since last year she lost to the pre-pubescent Australian WC. It’s not like  she could have found a more pathetic player to lose to. It’s not like she drew Chaky on the first round or something — ha ha!

(Will not talk about Vika.)

Anyway.

Caro bagelled a lady and won her match in two easy sets. Apparently everything’s ok with her ankle? Not important. The important thing is ‘Omgggggg Caro, Aga and Ula are qtest that ever qt’d’. No, seriously. They are. Watch this.

ALSO: This happened.

What.

Bring it on, suckers.

May 21st, 2010 • Uncategorized • 5 comments

THE DRAW IS OUT. Get some champagne and start booing. Roland Garros is here!

Amazing, amazing, amazing, amazing, ∞….

The ladies draw is here and the ‘Rafa + some other dudes’ draw is here.

If I’m being honest, the arrival of the holy tournament is quite bittersweet for me this year. It’s odd looking at the Parisien draw after I was just there last season. The overall feeling I have is ‘WOW, I HOPE THE OOP IS KIND TO ME — I WANT TO BE ABLE TO TAKE KIRI PICS AND GET TO LENA V.’S COURT IN TIME TO WATCH HER GET BAGELED’ #2009feelings. But, you know, I’m not in Paris. There will be no Kiri pics (but there will possibly be a Lena V. bagel?), no stalking watching Sven and Sorana Banana hanging out, no fun court-changing, no long queues to watch Wicky, no watching players pass you without people realizing who they are (‘Omg it’s Galina Voskoboeva, why does she look so tall?’).  It’s ok, I’ll survive. There’s always next year, am I right, am I right? Don’t answer that, readers.

I promise I’ll try doing a very good blogging job. Goodness knows how much I love this tournament. I’ll start by saying first round encounters I’m excited to watch (copying and pasting from twitter ftw):

• Kuz-Sorana (Kuz defends the title, poor Sorana defends quarters)
• Pavs-Cornet (Get it, annoying French Open crowd)
• Mollie-JJ (*weeps*)
• Aga-Bally (I really enjoy saying ‘Bally‘)
• Gise-my gf Vika (HEADBAND BATTLE — glorious!)
• Flavs-AKO (Anne is still, slowly, coming back from a knee surgery. GET IN, THOUGH?)

And, omg, the one that will break my heart and my heart only:

• Andrea Petkovic (I still need to come out with a suitable nickname for her. Pet? Tall German? I’m taking suggestions.) versus Elena ‘No, I don’t win matches, don’t ask why this idiotic Fierce Tennis blogger likes me’ Vesnina. IDKKKK, you guys. This probably won’t even be televised but I’m sure I’ll be holding my breath while looking at the scoreboard. (I say 6-3 6-0 ‘Pet’.) I’m cool like that.

To those that speak Portuguese, there’s a post on who I consider the favourites for Roland Garros over at Saque e Voleio. But I’m sure all of you Brazilians already read the blog. Oh, well.

(lol, no, WordPress, I will not tag this)