Stuff I’m not good at: #455756 blogging

September 2nd, 2010 • Uncategorized • No comments

I AM THE WORST BLOGGER IN THE WORLD. SORRY, EVERYONE. I’ll sum up my thoughts on the U.S. Open so far and you guys can, like, be happy this is an ACTUAL POST. (WOW. I’M IN A CAPSLOCK MOOD TODAY.)

• Andrea Petkovic won a tough match. Most importantly: she didn’t choke. Ok, she did, but what matters is she still won. ESPN was rewarded with a blog. It’s wonderful. I want to marry her.  I’m afraid I don’t stand a chance. (Or do I? CALL ME, PETKO. 555-I-AM-A-FIERCE-BITCH-BABY)
• Remember the Stella dress I was very excited to see? I’m eager to take a look at the rest of it, like, say, the bit that covers Caroline Wozniacki‘s ass. I bet it’s AMAZING.
• Victoria Azarenka broke my heart. Must be Wednesday.
• Someone is looking like a fierce bitch in all-black, and it ain’t Roger Federer.
• ‘Whine, whine, whine, whine’–my article on Andy Roddick‘s loss.

That’s it, I think. I missed you kids. Did you guys miss me? Don’t answer that.

The proper way to react at missing your first serve

August 13th, 2010 • kiri is 2 hot 4 u • No comments

Vika must be every tennis parent’s living nightmare. Playing doubles with her turns out to be the worst influence on cute little Maria Kirilenko. Meanwhile, Team Vikiri is into the Cincinnati semifinals. You win some, you lose some, right?

Let’s talk about what really matters in tennis: Rafa’s outfits

August 12th, 2010 • holy rafa, tennis players are fashionists too • 2 comments

The most discussed topic today in tennis blogs seems to be our two most popular ballers wearing pink. One is looking gorgeous, the other looks like the last ice cream on earth you’d like to lick. What? Partiality? I don’t know what you’re talking about.

I decided to comply a list of my Top 5 Outfits Wore By Rafa Nadal. Because 1) I like clothes, 2) I like Rafa, and 3) I like lists.

HONOURABLE MENTION:

Day Matches Bubblegum Rafa, Australian Open 2009

5.

White Wings, U.S. Open 2008

4.

Blue/Yellow Combo, U.S. Open Series 2009

3.

Green and Blue Mosaic, Roland Garros 2010

2.

Pink Polo of Doom, Roland Garros 2009

1.

I’m sorry, was I talking about something?

Moral of the story: the brighter my lil’ own personal version of Sunshine shines, the happier I get. */creep*

Can you please spell Gabbana?

August 4th, 2010 • demented, tennis players are fashionists too • No comments

I’m not used to posting ridiculous photoshoots here. Because, let’s face it, tennis players are athletes and, like most athletes, every time they do a fashion photoshoot, it ends up being the most ridiculous, absurd, hilarious, over-the-top pictures ever. Also: I don’t want to have a weekly JJ column. But this Elena Dementieva shoot…. this Elena Dementieva shoot…. I have no words, really. You know how they say a picture says a thousand a words? I have a feeling these say three millions each and they go like this: ‘LOL LOL LOL LOL (…)’

If I were to comment, I wouldn’t even know where to start. The ‘hair’? The ‘special effects’? The ‘outfits’? Really, I wouldn’t even know how to ‘write’ without putting every single ‘word’ in quotation marks. Are you guys familiar with Girls Aloud‘s No Good Advice music video? Well, they are (/were) a very good girlband and that video is one of their earliest works. When they made that video, they knew nothing about fashion (or common sense, apparently) and their costume designer told them silver was going to be really trendy. It makes me wonder, what did they tell Lena in the shoot? ‘Oh, you know, this what Lady Gaga is all about!’, ‘Big Hair makes you appear really talented — just look at Amy Winehouse‘, ‘Jelena Jankovic would never go for this’ etc?

Poor  Lena fans. Like we don’t go through enough pain thanks to her as it is.

(Never before has my tag for Lena been so appropriate.)

Kids, don’t buy drugs. Become a tennis commentator and you get them for free!

August 3rd, 2010 • off-topic • 2 comments

This is one of the funniest videos I’ve seen in a while. One of ESPN‘s tennis commentators, Mary Carillo, gives spectators a crazy, inspired rant on what happens when you play badminton in your backyard. Spoiler: bad things, apparently! It’s back from the Olympics in Athens in 2004 but maybe you haven’t seen it. I hadn’t.

Now, serioulsy, that looks like a scene out of The Anchorman. Or Sports Night if Casey McCall was on crack.

(Video via Foot Fault!)

Why I’m actually nice and people shouldn’t hate me: an essay by Victoria Azarenka

August 2nd, 2010 • i'm sure i don't do this blogging thing quite right, vika azarenka • 4 comments

Winners and losers

August 1st, 2010 • lena v. always brings the lolz, vika azarenka • 4 comments

Each passing year, I believe more and more that some players have it and some don’t. What’s it? It is what makes some turn into champions and others not. ‘How can you not believe it? It’s right there’, you might say. But the thing is, I have a problem believing talented players such as Elena Dementieva and Andy Murray might not have what it takes, or not have enough, to win a major. Surely they’re both superior players than Francesca Schiavone or Juan Carlos Ferrero — to name a few. But maybe they aren’t, after all, those two are both Roland Garros champions.

Not that Istanbul is the 5th Slam or anything, but, today, Elena Vesnina played her third WTA final there.  Today was also her birthday — she turned 24. One third of those years were spent on the pro tour. I’m a fan but I’m surely not deranged enough to expect Lena V. to win a major. (Not that I wouldn’t go around buying people drinks if that happened though.) If you have ever seen her play, you know she has a good game. Last year, she reached the #22 position in the rankings and she definitely has top 15 potential. I don’t need to go around naming all other players that have won WTA titles that are, technically, worse at tennis than Lena V. But I’m sure you can think of a few.

The bottom line of this (useless) story is that today Lena V. was two games away from her first title. She was leading Pavlyuchenkova a set and 4-0 up. But, she lost, 6-4 in the decider, after over 3 hours and 10 minutes of match. Not wanting to spoil anything, but the story ends with a sobbing Russian. You can guess which one.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the world, Lena V.‘s friend, Victoria Azarenka, also played a final. As you probably already know (from around the web or from my overexcited celebratory tweets), Vika won Stanford. Whatever it is, I’d say Vika has it. The only tough match she had on the tournament was against Bartoli — where she had to come back from a set and a break down. On the semis, she crushed Sam Stosur. On the final, she crushed Maria Sharapova. I don’t know what’s the winning characteristic that it possesses but it’s what makes us believe that, no matter the score, Serena Williams or Rafa Nadal are going to find a way to reach victory.

I don’t think it’s as simple as saying some players can focus and have a lot of fighting spirit while others are chokers. The greatest tennis champion of all time, Roger Federer, has choked quite a few ridiculous leads. The forever a bridesmaid Elena Dementieva has had some spectacular comebacks. It’s something more, I’d say.

And, since we were talking about Andy Murray: he lost today after having a match point on the second set. Don’t worry, though. In Mandy, we trust. Am I right?

(You know, tomorrow I’m going to write an essay called ‘Victoria Azarenka: why she’s the most misunderstood player of our generation and how she’s actually a sweetheart’. Maybe I’ll get a few people that aren’t related to her to read it. Who knows.)

Ladies?

July 30th, 2010 • demented, maria shutupova • No comments

If you follow my twitter, you know how the prospect of the Stanford quarterfinals had me staring lovingly at the draw.

The battle of big serves and massive forehands: Samantha Stosur x Yanina Wickmayer
Dear lord, Nike, what were you thinking?: Marion Bartoli x Victoria Azarenka
Cat-and-mouse tennis: Agnieszka Radwanska x Maria Kirilenko
And, of course, the one big Russia mess: Maria Sharapova x Elena Dementieva

Basically, any final that can come out of this that isn’t Bartoli-Sharapova will have me ecstatic. Given the fact the odds are on my side, I am already ecstatic. Gimme gimme gimme.

I recommend everyone to tune in this afternoon to watch some damn good tennis. And, if you like, contact TennisTV to make sure they know they’re asses for not airing the match of the number one seed tonight. How dare they, deny us Sam and Wicky.

Hatastic!

July 27th, 2010 • vika azarenka • No comments

Some people like stamps. Others like books, cinema or sports. I like pictures of Victoria Azarenka wearing hats.

More pictures of her, proving I’m not the only one who loves outfits that are so bright they make your eyes hurt, at the Nike ID store here and here. You’re welcome.

Ula is back! (I rejoice. No one else cares.)

July 26th, 2010 • caro the danish cutie, the radwanskas • 2 comments

Here on Fierce Tennis, we (me, myself and I) love Urszula Radwanska. Actually, we don’t have many reasons to love her. Except she’s Aga‘s adorable little sister. And she has the same calming winning attitude on court as Victoria Azarenka. And she seems to be as smitten by Caroline Wozniacki as we are. Ok, so maybe we do have a lot of reasons to love her. And we’re really, really excited she’s back.

Ula had a spine injury earlier this year, making her miss great part of her 2010 season. But she was seen practising in Stanford with Aga and she’s scheduled to play qualies in San Diego. She’s also going straight into the U.S. Open main draw thanks to her Special Rankings. Summing up: yay Ula!

To celebrate, a few pictures of Ula and Caro dressed as pandas on the China Great Wall. (That’s a sentence I’ve never thought I’d write.) Special appearance by Daddy Wozniacki.

Last, but not least:

Nom om om panda brainzzz.